UNDENIABLE

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 Recognition of the problems is the first start..
 
IT IS UNDENIABLE THAT A DIET ALONE DOES NOT HELP TO DEAL WITH IMPROVING ONE’S HEALTH, THAT IS ONE EATING PROPERLY, RATHER IT TAKES ALSO A DEFINITE CHANGE IN ONE LIFESTYLE ALL TOGETHER.. THUS RECOGNIZING ALSO WHAT FOODS, OTHER ITEMS ARE GOOD AND THOSE THAT ARE BAD  AS WELL. Pressure and Stress included.
What we eat, proper sleep, proper exercise, personal stress reduction  are all important as well.  While it is well known that we all thrive on a certain amount of pressure and in fact in life, for  it seems we all need some incentive pressure to do our best. However, if this pressure next becomes continual, or excessive it can be mostly be counter productive and lead to serious, unbeneficial stress.
 TOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE ARE LIVING IN AN UNREALISTIC WORLD OF FANTASIES, ARE LIVING BEYOND THEIR FINANCIAL MEANS AND NEED TO GET BACK TO EARTH AND ADJUST TO THEIR ACTUAL CAPABILITIES, EXPECTATIONS TOO. Not everything that we want, desire is what we need now as well..  
 
   Employers should provide a stress-free work environment, recognize where stress is becoming a problem for staff, and take action to reduce stress. If you believe this crap than you are really gullible and unrealistic.. It is not the employers who need to take personal responsibility firstly for dealing with the stress in your life but you yourself. Don’t falsely expect any others to look after your good welfare, that is always still your own duties, job too. 
 
So what can we do ?
 
Try to manage your balance between too little and too much pressure by adapting your behaviour and thinking. Also make sure you take time out to recover from the pressures you find yourself under. Exercise and relaxation are paramount.
 
Tips for preventing life’s pressure turning to stress
 
 
1. Adopt a healthy lifestyle – If we eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly and ensure we get adequate rest our body is better able to cope with stress should it occur.
 
2. Know your limitations and do not take on too much. We cause ourselves a great deal of stress because we do not like to say no to people. We like people to like us and do not want to let people down. We then end up doing more than we should. Learn to be assertive and how to say no without upsetting or offending people. Practice saying “No” without feeling guilty.
 
3. Determine what causes you stress and try to change your behaviour to reduce it.
 
4. Avoid unnecessary conflict. Don’t be too argumentative. Is it really worth the stress? Look for win – win situations. Look for a solution to a dispute where both parties can achieve a positive outcome.
 
5. Learn to manage your time more effectively – We waste a lot of time doing unimportant tasks. Prioritise your day and do the important jobs first. The unimportant ones can wait, and often they will disappear completely leaving you time to do other things. Also do not put off the unpleasant tasks. Every time we think about them we cause ourselves stress. Give an unpleasant task a high priority and do it first.
 
6. Take time out to relax and recharge your batteries – You will perform much better after a break and easily make up the time you used relaxing.
 
7. Try to see things differently – If something is bothering you try to see it differently. Talk over your problem with somebody before it gets out of proportion. Often, talking to somebody else will help you see things from a different and less stressful perspective. Try to see the funny side of a situation. Laughter is a great stress reducer. When things cause you stress, try to change the situation. Sometimes however, this is not possible. If this proves to be the case recognise this and accept things as they are.
 
8. Find time to meet good and not bad friends. Good Friends help us see things in a different way. Bad friends will make life worse for us The activities we engage in with friends usually help us relax and we will often have a good laugh. Laughter is a great stress reducer. It boosts the immune system, which is often depleted during stress.
 
9 .Avoid alcohol, nicotine and caffeine as coping mechanisms. – Long term, these faulty coping mechanisms will just add to the problem. For example, caffeine is a stimulant and our body reacts to this with the stress response.
 
10 .If you do become stressed, engage in some form of physical activity and try a relaxation technique. Physical activity will work off the biochemical and physical changes that occur within your body due to stress. Relaxation helps your body return to its normal healthy state. Good relaxation techniques include breathing exercises, massage and a variety of complimentary therapies.  http://www.andersonpeakperformance.co.uk/personalstresstips.htm
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Possible quick stress reduction techniques 
 
If you are stressed, do one or all of these things, The key to de-stressing in the moment is getting away from or removing yourself from the stressor. In this modern world it is difficult if not impossible to immediately change some stressful situations. What we all maybe can do however is change and reduce our exposure,  enable you to change your reaction and relationship to the stressful situations.
 
1 stress reduction idea  – humour
Humour is one of the greatest and quickest devices for reducing stress.
 
2 stress reduction idea  – brisk walk and self-talk
Go for a short quick really brisk walk outside.
 
3 stress reduction idea   – rehydrate
Go get a cup or a bottle of water.
 stress reduction technique 4 – catnap or powernap
(Not so easy but still perfectly possible)
 
4 Take a quick nap. It is nature’s way of recharging and re-energising.
A quick 10-30 minutes’ sleep is very helpful to reduce stress.
 
 
Stress is caused by various factors – not all of which are work-related of course  Various US studies have demonstrated that removing stress improves specific aspects of health: stress management was shown to be capable of reducing the risk of heart attack by up to 75% in people with heart disease; stress management techniques, along with methods for coping with anger, contributed to a reduction of high blood pressure, and; for chronic tension headache sufferers it was found that stress management techniques increased the effectiveness of prescribed drugs, and after six months actually equalled the effectiveness of anti-depressants. The clear implication for these ailments is that stress makes them worse.
 
Stress significantly reduces brain functions such as memory, concentration, and learning, all of which are central to effective performance at work.

These are some typical causes of stress at work:
-bullying or harassment, by anyone, not necessarily a person’s manager
-feeling powerless and uninvolved in determining one’s own responsibilities
-continuous unreasonable performance demands
-lack of effective communication and conflict resolution
-lack of job security
-long working hours
-excessive time away from home and family
-office politics and conflict among staff
-a feeling that one’s reward reward is not commensurate with one’s responsibility working hours, responsibilities and pressures disrupting life-balance (diet, exercise, sleep and rest, play, family-time, etc)

Some factors influencing the effects of stress and stress susceptibility
A person’s susceptibility to stress can be affected by any or all of these factors, which means that everyone has a different tolerance to stressors. And in respect of certain of these factors, stress susceptibility is not fixed, so each person’s stress tolerance level changes over time:
-childhood experience (abuse can increase stress susceptibility)
-personality (certain personalities are more stress-prone than others)
-genetics (particularly inherited ‘relaxation response’, connected with serotonin levels, the brain’s ‘well-being chemical’)
-immunity abnormality (as might cause certain diseases such as arthritis and eczema, which weaken stress resilience)
-lifestyle (principally poor diet and lack of exercise)
-duration and intensity of stressors (obviously…)

Some signs of stress
-sleep difficulties
-loss of appetite
-poor concentration or poor memory retention
-performance dip
-uncharacteristic errors or missed deadlines
-anger or tantrums
-violent or anti-social behaviour
-emotional outbursts
-alcohol or drug abuse
-nervous habits

 Here are some simple pointers for reducing stress susceptibility and stress itself, for yourself or to help others:
-think really seriously about and talk with others, to identify the causes of the stress and take steps to remove, reduce them or remove yourself (the stressed person) from the situation that causes the stress.
-Understand the type(s) of stressors affecting you (or the stressed person), and the contributors to the stress susceptibility – knowing what you’re dealing with is essential to developing the stress management approach.
-improve diet – group B vitamins and magnesium are important, but potentially so are all the other vitamins and minerals: a balanced healthy diet is essential. Assess the current diet and identify where improvements should be made and commit to those improvements.
-reduce toxin intake – obviously tobacco, alcohol especially – they might seem to provide temporary relief but they are working against the balance of the body and contributing to stress susceptibility, and therefore increasing stress itself.
-take more exercise – generally, and at times when feeling very stressed – exercise burns up adrenaline and produces helpful chemicals and positive feelings.
-stressed people must try to be detached, step back, look from the outside at the issues that cause the stress.
-don’t try to control things that are uncontrollable – instead adjust response, adapt.
-share worries – talk to someone else – off-load, loneliness is a big ally of stress, so sharing the burden is essential.
-increase self-awareness of personal moods and feelings – anticipate and take steps to avoid stress build-up before it becomes more serious.
-explore and use relaxation methods –
– Counselling may be necessary to identify the cause(s), particularly if the sufferer has any tendency to deny or ignore the stress problem.
– Acceptance, cognisance and commitment on the part of the stressed person are essential.
 
The two simplest ways to reduce stress susceptibility, and in many situations alleviate stress itself (although not removing the direct causes of stress itself) are available to everyone, cost nothing, and are guaranteed to produce virtually immediate improvements. They are diet , exercise,  Sleep and rest are essential for a healthy life-balance.  Physical exercise also is immensely beneficial in managing stress. This is for several reasons:
-Exercise releases helpful chemicals in our brain and body that are good for us.
-Exercise distracts us from the causes of stress.
-Exercise warms and relaxes cold, tight muscles and tissues which contribute to stress feelings.
-Exercise develops and maintains a healthy body which directly reduces stress susceptibility.
-Exercise increases blood flow to the brain which is good for us. Exercises also releases hormones, and stimulates the nervous system in ways that are good for us.
 
And a final point about ‘anger management’…. anger management and stress
The term ‘anger management’ is widely use now as if the subject stands alone. However, ‘anger management’ is simply an aspect of managing stress, since anger in the workplace is a symptom of stress. Anger is often stress in denial, and as such is best approached via one-to-one counselling. Training courses can convey anger management and stress reduction theory and ideas, but one-to-one counselling is necessary to turn theory into practice. Management of anger (and any other unreasonable emotional behaviour for that matter) and the stress that causes it, can only be improved if the person wants to change – acceptance, cognisance, commitment – so awareness is the first requirement. Some angry people take pride in their anger and don’t want to change; others fail to appreciate the effect on self and others. Without a commitment to change there’s not a lot that a manager or employer can do to help; anger management is only possible when the angry person accepts and commits to the need to change.

http://www.businessballs.com/stressmanagement.htm

  The important key also now to personal de-stressing  is getting away temporary from or removing yourself permanently from the stressor. Plus  Developing new habits which regularly remove you and distract you from stressors and stressful situations, pressures is essentially now the basis as to how to manage stress on a more permanent basis. Unresolved negative Stress is believed to trigger 70% of visits to doctors, and 85% of serious illnesses.

 

funnies, cartoons

 

 

 
At first, we may next  just be irritable, snappy, unable to think clearly, and make more than a few silly mistakes. However, if the now rather  bad stress, pressure continues, and we fail to do anything about it, our personal performance and even our health will signifcantly drop. We may develop serious physical, health  symptoms or mental symptoms, problems such as anxiety and eventually a serious depression. We need to face realities firstly, always.
 

Dramatic stress reduction also still is a real NEED in reality for many persons.  Most people still do take an ostrich approach to their fears, problems in life, rather than firstly recognizing, and  admitting the problems that  they are facing  and next researching, learning how to deal with them effectively, for example what is causing you to get a loss of sleep in reality..    
 
Do you also want daily, simple techniques you can use to reduce your daily stress? Do you have difficulty sleeping at night? Worried about your job, life, future? In reality there is no miracle, instant simple cure even if many will lie to you, take your money and say there is.. you have to face life, with real work, real effort to resolve your problems still generally too… including
– Overall lifestyle, personal values  review and evaluation
– Identification of major, minor stressors
– Education and evaluation of root causes of stress, Breathing exercises
– Learn to respond to your life  in a more positive and healthy way
– Support and resources for stress reduction
– Simple but very effective goal setting to help drop unnecessary behaviors and develop new and helpful behaviors

 – learning to use Stress reduction techniques that are easy , useful – such as turning off your TV
 

Changes in the way people eat and exercise and

health
WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT THE CITIZEN’S GOOD WELFARE? 
    
Thousands of cancer cases caused by diet, alcohol and obesity …   Over 40% of breast and bowel cancer cases in rich countries are preventable through diet, physical activity and weight control alone, experts say. Simple measures like cycling to work and swapping fatty foods for fruit can make all the difference, a Clean living way to beat cancer.   1 in 3 Common Cancers May Be Preventable.  Diet, exercise could cut cancer rates by third .Diet is key to staying cancer free

Shun fats, smokes, get out and about for a healthy heart OTTAWA – Changes in the way people eat and exercise and improvements to health care could sharply reduce the death toll from heart attacks and strokes and save billions of dollars, a federal panel said Tuesday. and what is so new about all of that for  I myself have been posting that facts, details truths  on the net for years.. and so I still do  often   wonder why the people in the governments, federal, provincial governments, now  take so long to respond, deal with it positively too..  or they really do not care about the good welfare of the sheep.. all Canadians? they are merely self serving, selfish oriented? 

 

Some of the world’s leading experts in nutrition epidemiology have cast a resounding vote in the decades-long debate between treating or preventing cancer: Prevention wins.  Their report, being released today, argues strenuously for diet and exercise as the keys to fighting cancer. It calls research and spending on the treatment of cancer “necessary but not sufficient,” and contends that a far better strategy for reducing the world’s annual tally of 11 million cancer cases would be to develop a public-health policy aimed at preventing people from getting the disease in the first place. The report, issued by the World Cancer Research Fund/American Institute for Cancer Research, is based on an exhaustive review of nearly 7,000 scientific studies into whether cancer rates are influenced by diet, obesity and exercise.
    
How many times have we now experienced he fact that the selected leaders, cabinet was not like what they had promised they would be, certainly now not like we had expected them rightfully to be as well? Clearly many many  Canadians are still often now really angry at, or disappointed with   the results of the various governments acts,    the selected candidates,  but  now when will we all deal with the root  issue that is the cause of the problems firstly and it is the immoral type of candidates being firstly nominated?  the liars and alcoholics mostly it seems.. and these type of brain damaged people will never do us much good even now as well.
 
We all need to care about the unemployed and the poor people, Elected officials now included. It also  seems even  the governments and it’s managers are too often rather still just for sale to the highest bidder… and it doesn’t care who they are involved with or what they are up to or what it looks like as long as they are rewarding themselves or  their friends, and thus they wrongfully and too tend  not too  really look after all of the good ordinary citizens welfare..  this is still never acceptable. They all Civil and public servants, politicians, need to be regularly supervised too. That is why we need and have the auditors, News media, Opposition parties, concerned citizens to do this too.. and it still generally is not enough as we can see.
Can you believe it that the already rich doctors as well complain they are underpaid, demand more money, and yet these very same doctors only  work 9 to 5, have the holidays and weekend off, even though people get sick all the time now too..
THE DOCTORS AND NURSES NEED TO GET BACK TO CARING AFTER THE SICK PEOPLE.

Many weight loss products like pills, herbs and some private clinics fail to deliver on their promises and governments should be regulating scientifically unproven therapies, obesity doctors say.  I said the same thing in writing to the federal government, health ministers the last 2 decades too.
 
In addition to a doctor the second best thing I discovered was a dietician..
 
Now on top of all that add to that how food manufacturers, drug stores do also make big  profits on health related items
 
 
There is always the obligations to spend the taxpayer’s money  money wisely, free from politics and free from personal agendas. That now still applies to   anybody that   takes part in any amount of this funding.  On this there is no compromise or  shortcuts. Full, real, active  Vigilance by all persons here is still always required in reality. There are still too few cost, money controls — and too many opportunities for fraud and abuse — associated with the biggest outlay of federal money in our own government’s history.
 
 
TWO OF MY PAST NEIGHBORS, MANAGERS,  WHO WORKED FOR CITY HALL OPENLY BOASTED TO ME, AND DEMONSTRATED TO ME FOR YEARS THE COMMON CORRUPTION IN THE LOCAL CITY HALL, DONE BY THEM AND MANY OF THEIR COLLEAGUES. This included their unnecessary out of town trips, their taking stuff, computer accessories,  home from the office for their own personal use, boasted of  their lavish expense accounts, of their doing personal work at the office, and much more. Why did they think that me a tax payer would approve any of such wrong doings was their error. I reported their wrong doings rightfully rather. OTHER MANAGERS OF CROWN CORORATIONS HAD ALSO OFTEN BOASTED TO ME OF THEM DOING SIMILAR THEFTS  AS WELL..
 
Now we had elected the new Conservatives , a new government and a leader that was supposed to be much better, different from all the so called past bad governments. A government that would be reliable, , it will be open, transparent, accountable, better managed, honest, and it would keep it’s pre-election  promises,  would not lie to us too, And next was that so in reality? NO!!! Unacceptable
 
Do first  stop electing, hiring  liars, alcoholics, incompetents, and pretenders mostly.. instead fire all of them
 
actions speak louder than mere words, http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/
 
Now we all know that prices can vary, even significantly from one  retail store to another, and that price fixings also do exist something the consumer affairs ministers need to supervise with more vigilance than they tend to do so as well now..  DO FORWARD THEM THIS NOTE, REMINDER NOW TOO.
 
Still Shopping in one sole store is a dangerous way to try to save on essential good and health costs, but what do you do when there is not much choice, you are at the mercy of the seller, distributor, who often wrongfully do not hesitate to take advantage of it and to price gouge you. Simple old fashion greed is the basis of the high prices everywhere it seems. Take  for instance 1 in 8 persons is diabetic, but yet   the price of sugar free products is often 300 percent higher or even much more for a start.. the same applies to Margarine, etc
 
NOTE  THE fresh, healthy food IS EXPENSIVE FIRSTLY CAUSE THE RETAILERS HAVE A HIGH PRICE MARK UP ON IT. NOW THAT INCLUDES NOT ONLY FRUITS, AND VEGETABLES but other supposedly more healthier products.. YES THE SHIPPING COSTS FROM CALIFORNIA HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT, BUT CALIFORNIA IS IN DRASTIC RECESSION SO YOU WOULD THINK THE PRICES THERE OF THEIR GOODS WOULD BE CHEAPER NOW AS WELL? The old excuse of the price of high rising cost of fuel is no longer valid as well.
  
Toronto Medical Officer calls for $100 food supplement in … The Canadian Press – TORONTO – A Toronto woman says an extra $100 a month in social assistance would be the difference between eating nutritious food and eating whatever is on sale.
Medical community urges health food supplement CTV.ca
HEALTH: Campaign aims to ‘put food in the budget’ Inside Toronto
CityNews
  
 http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/

 

Based on this review, it concludes that cancer “is mostly preventable,” estimating that about one-third of all cases in advanced countries like Canada could be eliminated by diets that aren’t loaded with fatty, sugary foods, by people exercising regularly and, if they are obese, by slimming down to an appropriate weight. Among the cancers with links to these factors are those of the breast, prostate, mouth and colon.

Another third of cancers are due to smoking, indicating that well over half the cases of the disease could easily be prevented.

“It’s a very compelling case” that cancer incidence could be cut dramatically through prevention, said Shiriki Kumanyika, an epidemiologist at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia and a member of an expert panel that oversaw the writing of the report. Also on the panel were such nutrition luminaries as the Harvard School of Public Health’s Walter Willett.

Dr. Kumanyika said scientific evidence strongly supports the estimate that poor diet, obesity and lack of exercise cause one out of three cancers. “I definitely feel confident that it’s at least that much,” she said.

Much of the medical research into the causes of cancer has looked at factors such as genetic susceptibility. But Dr. Kumanyika said studies tracking immigrants and their children who move from areas of low cancer incidence, such as Asia, to countries with high rates, such as the United States, suggest the genetic factor may be overrated. Over time, cancer rates among migrants and their children rise toward the levels prevalent in their adopted countries, suggesting that something common to everyone in the new environment is the cause.    

Although individuals can make decisions to get more exercise or eat better food, thereby reducing their chances of developing cancer, the report says that entities ranging from governments to schools need to develop public-health strategies to reduce the incidence of the disease.

Among the steps it recommends are banning advertising of sugary drinks and unhealthy foods directed at children, a step Quebec has already taken. The report says the Quebec action has led to a decrease in the amount of sugary cereals purchased, particularly among francophones.

It also calls for vending machines that dispense high-fat, sugary sweets or drinks to be moved out of schools and workplace cafeterias.

Another approach that should be considered is having processed meals, snacks and food reformulated to contain less sugar, refined starches, fat and salt, the report says.

To encourage more physical activity, it says society should place less emphasis on elite professional sports that lead people to be sedentary spectators, and instead develop entertainment that inspires everyone to be physically active.

It says cities should be designed for walking and cycling, rather than the current practice of promoting automobile use through road expansion.

Diet, includes

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Diet, A lifestyle change … not a diet! I will strive to be healthier this year?

Health is one of those things that a lot of us take for granted. We assume we’re entitled to it, and therefore don’t give it much thought – until something goes wrong. Then we see that health is not only one of the best things in life, but that it’s perhaps the most important thing in life. Good health is the direct result of food and lifestyle choices that we make on a daily basis, and is for the most part, a completely controllable element in our lives.

Here are Dietitian In The Kitchen Diane Henderiks’ simple, painless steps in regard to food that you can take to get started on this path to lifelong success:

1. Give your refrigerator and pantry an overhaul … stock up on healthy foods.
2. Leave the junk foods at the grocery store where they are not in easy reach and never go grocery shopping hungry.
3. Learn how to read labels … an educated consumer is a healthy consumer.
4. Deprivation leads to overindulgence … treat yourself to small portions of the higher calorie foods on occasion.
5. Learn how to cook with less fat, salt and sugar … healthy food can be both nutritious and delicious.
6. If you have a setback, keep moving on … lifestyle changes do not happen overnight.
7. Watch your portions … calories are still at the core of weight loss and weight gain.
8. Exercise at least 30 minutes (cardiovascular and resistance training) most days of the week.
9. Keep yourself hydrated … chose water and seltzer over other beverages.
10. Accept the fact that there are no quick fixes … visualize success and take it one day at a time.

Recipe- Mouthwatering Mashed Potatoes

1 lb. medium red potatoes (about 4); peeled and halved 
1/2 C low sodium vegetable or chicken broth
1/2 C water
2t butter
1/4t salt
pinch of freshly ground black pepper
1/8t garlic powder
1/2 C 1% milk
1. Place potatoes, water and broth into a medium sized pot, cover and steam over medium heat until soft, about 25 minutes. Stir occasionally. (note: since you are steaming, the liquid will not cover the potatoes. Add additional broth as needed) 
2. Turn off the heat and mash potatoes in the pot with a potato masher or whip in a stand mixer. Do not drain!
3. Add butter, salt, pepper, garlic powder and milk and continue mashing until desired consistency, adding more milk as needed.
4. Enjoy!  Serves 4

Return to list of Recipes

 http://ditkonline.com/content/health/index.cfm

In for an inch

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In for an inch often next leads in for a mile. But Alcohol firstly cause permanent personal brain damage, not just the unacceptable fact that Alcohol also now has has the HIGHEST intoxication of ALL consuming  drugs:. The fact is the drug alcohol has the HIGHEST intoxication of ALL drugs (much higher than say meth). That also makes Alcohol the most dangerous drug for both the user/abuser of it and those around the user/abuser of it. Alcohol most dangerous drug for drivers: Recent study. “Driving under the influence of marijuana has a 2X chance of death. Driving just over 0.08 on alcohol has a 40X chance of death. At 0.16 ( its an 80X chance of death according to the same report (I can’t even imagine at 3X what it would be like the well known drunk West Vancouver cop in a BC case). The fact is with the drug alcohol, you can loose the ability to decide if you can drive (i.e. 1st can’t drive, a few more beers, then can fly as all common sense is gone).  It is why the drug alcohol is involved in SO much violence in our society. It is also the biggest date rape drug of them all.” Sadly on top of all that same  people who now do  consume  Alcohol tend often also next  to consume other bad drugs as well, or vice versa. The cycle is continuous. There clearly is no such thing as a little bit pregnant, even the so called moderation next tends to lead to excess, addiction, harm for oneself and many others. As is being done with cigarettes, increasing the consumer costs of the available alcohol is one of the best ways to deal with it   to reduce it’s negative effect. But not the only way. Alcoholics and drug addicts too thus should be terminated from their jobs, and arrested, incarcerated  for any abuse of the laws of the province, country now next too.
 
Showing justice and compassion is rightfully prosecuting all of  the guilty alcohol and drug offenders.
 
 

Stressful Sibling rivalry

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Money, the love of money is the root of all evil, most people may not admit but they are mostly busy trying to get richer, and are involved in fighting to get it, even family members.
Did you know that sibling rivalry, abuse is one of the most common forms of family violence, acts?
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Proverbs 10- 22 The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.
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Siblings will use also physical violence because they have learned it from their parents, a bad mother or a bad father,  or other adults. In fact, one study found that 76% of the children who were repeatedly abused by their parents also abused their siblings.. and their spouse next too..
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ACTS 16:16 Now it happened, as we went to prayer, that a certain slave girl possessed with a spirit of divination met us, who brought her masters much profit by fortune-telling.17 This girl followed Paul and us, and cried out, saying, “These men are the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation.”18 And this she did for many days. But Paul, greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” And he came out that very hour

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JUST BECAUSE A PERSON IS TELLING THE TRUTH LIKE THE ABOVE GIRL WHO FOLLOWED PAUL DOESN’T MEAN THEY WAS NOT POSSESSED WITH A SPIRIT OF DIVINIATION

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Eph 4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Eph 5:1  Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
Eph 5:2  And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
Eph 5:3  But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;
Eph 5:4  Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.
Eph 5:5  For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
Eph 5:6  Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Eph 5:7  Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Eph 5:8  For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
Eph 5:9  (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Eph 5:10  Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Eph 5:11  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
Eph 5:12  For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Eph 5:13  But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
Eph 5:14  Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
Eph 5:15  See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Eph 5:16  Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Eph 5:17  Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
Eph 5:18  And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Eph 5:19  Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
Eph 5:20  Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
Eph 5:21  Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

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And one solution is not talk to them anymore.. often you have to put your foot down and tell them to get lost forever if need be.

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Many people have this false, wrong concept that one can reason with a fool, they can be helped… rarely is that so (Prov 17:10 KJV)  A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool.

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Many professing Christian persons see themselves as teachers, facilitators, coordinators, leaders, when in fact they are still just dictators, bullies, some even immoral agressive jungle fighters, control freaks who need to repent..  http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/

Everyone  needs to set boundaries on what is acceptable behavior. No verbal abuses, no bullying, no lying, no foul languages, no hitting or other violence should be allowed. Another step parents can take to prevent abuse between siblings is to model their own respectful behavior in your family. Children learn how to interact with others by observing them.

Do a check-up on your family and others  this week:
Do you treat your children. others respectfully?
Do your children treat each other respectfully?
Are your children hitting each other when conflicts occur?
Do you have Home, office, internet rules in place for acceptable behavior?

You may need to call a family meeting to work out problem-solving strategies before rough housing turns to abuse, unacceptable violence

http://unlforfamilies.unl.edu/

 Info on Sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs, mafia, war

(Psalm 133:1 KJV)  Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

Sibling rivalry is a type of sinful, selfish competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not..
  the sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family. Sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender, or where one child is intellectually gifted, or one child has received or attains  a bigger inheritance, earning, position, status in life. Adolescents fight for the same reasons younger children fight,  Fighting with siblings as a way to get attention, power  may increase in adolescence. Events even such as a strained marriage may  drive them seriously  apart. Sibling Rivalry in the Bible – sample cases: Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob, and Joseph and his brothers., Leah and Rachel, and today’s counterpart is the conflicts between the Arabs and the Jews, gangs, Mafia

(Prov 15:1 KJV)  A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Sibling rivalry, war is the jealousy, competition and fighting between the unloving and/or  unloved brothers and sisters firstly, and with others next too.  It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child.  Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and even adulthood, it can be very embarrassing, frustrating and stressful to parents.  There some things parents can do to help their young kids get along better and work through conflicts in positive ways and  help you keep the peace at your house.

Sibling rivalry, war  is as old as the children of Adam and Eve and is too often recorded now as a sin in the Bible as well that has negative consequences on the persons involved and even others.

The real sad part is that many adults play also this false game still too.. Conquer and destroy!

Sibling rivalry can also be caused by proximity in age. Research suggests that siblings that are within two years’ age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings.  Ultimately, sibling rivalry is often caused not only by by blocked goals but by  poor personal communication skills, bad or extreme values,  just like almost any other sorts of adult conflicts and wars

There are many factors that contribute to sibling rivalry:

-Past and present neglect of the siblings by the parents will top it all.. there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help you to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but to deal with sibling rivalry more effectively when it does occur. Some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry tends to be jealousy or selfishness.
-Each child, person  is mostly competing to define who they are as an individual.  As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities, and interests.  They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.
-Rejected Children, Adults too  feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
-Children often may feel their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby.
-A  children’s and an Adult’s developmental stages affect how well they can share your attention and get along with one another.
-Children and adults  who are hungry, bored or tired, nervous, stressed out  are more likely to start fights.
– Too many Children, adults too  do not know positive ways to get attention from their brother or sister, so they pick fights.
– Family dynamics play a serious role here as well when one of the parent  neglect one of their children, or shows a false favoring, partiality,. We are reminded this happened in the biblical account of Joseph and his brothers due to his new coat of many colors,
– Children, adults  will fight more with each other in families where there is no set bounders, understanding that their fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.
– All Families that don’t share enjoyable times together will probably have more family conflict next exasperated by a jealous immoral, insecure, poor self esteem  spouse(s)  of the siblings now too
– Unresolved Stress, poor health  in the parent’s lives will often  decrease the amount of still need attention parents give the children and thus increase the sibling rivalry.
– Stress in the  children’s lives will next  shorten their fuses, and create more conflict, cause significant home, community  and even health problems as well

So how the good and bad parents do now still treat their kids, children and how they do now react to conflict will  make a big difference in how well siblings get along.

The degree of existence of sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs  tends to show how good of a parent, manager, administrator now you really were, are.

“as many as 53 out of every 100 children abuse a brother or sister, higher than the percentage of adults who abuse their children or their spouse. What some kids do to their brother or sister inside the family would be called assault outside the family. As parents, we may be tempted to ignore fighting and quarrelling between children. We may view these activities as a normal part of growing up. We say, “Kids will be kids” or “They’ll grow out of it.”   However, thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and adults. Children often abuse a brother or sister, usually younger than themselves, to gain power and control. One explanation for this is that the abusive child (generally with a poor self esteem) feels powerless, neglected and insecure. He or she may feel strong only in relation to a sibling being powerless. The feeling of power children experience when they mistreat a brother or sister often reinforces their decision to repeat the abuse “  http://www.sasian.org/papers/rivabuse.htm

 

 

Why do we hear of the Russian Mafia, and the Asian Gangs now more increasing, because their parents have neglected them while they were busy trying to get rich, richer.(James 4:1 KJV)  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11  Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12  There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13  Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15  For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16  But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17  Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
5:1  Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2  Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3  Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.(Prov 22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it
 
.- Train your children firstly in the right way.. neglect any of them and everyone next will pay the negative price..
– Tell them that being self centered, selfish, concerned only about their own needs, desires is still an unacceptable sin, negative approach.
– Don’t play favorites or refuse to forgive, do not take sides as well. Your children need to learn that you will do your best to meet each of their unique needs.
– Never compare your children.
– Don’t typecast.  Let each child be who they are.  Don’t try to pigeonhole or label them
– Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete.
– Teach your kids positive ways to get attention from each other.
– Don’t yell or lecture.  It really won’t help at all..
– Listen—really listen—to how your children feel about what’s going on in the family. and next also act upon it positively. They seek the parent’s help first often,  They may not be so demanding if they know you at least care how they feel. “When parents falsely unwisely crash, jump into sibling spats, they often protect one child (usually the younger sibling) against the other (usually the older one).  This escalates the conflict, because the older child resents the younger, and the younger feels that they can get away with more since the parent is “on their side.”  ”
– Celebrate your children’s differences, positive aspects and not mainly their negatives.
– Let each child know they are still unique and special— accept them, you love and care for them, just for whom they are.
– Encourage win-win negotiations, where each side gains something.
– If you are constantly angry at your kids, no wonder they are angry at each other!  Anger feeds on itself.  Learn to manage your anger, so you can teach your children how to manage theirs.
– learn, Teach conflict resolution skills during calm times.
– Personally Model good conflict resolution skills for your kids.
– Try to Involve your children in setting ground rules.
– Enforced Ground rules, with clear and consistent consequences for breaking them, can help prevent many squabbles.
 Siblings often do fight for a number of reasons:
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog,   society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. “I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.”Lessons about jealousy, competition, sharing and kindness are difficult to learn, and, indeed, even many adults still still haven’t learned them. Too many adolescent may not recognize, admit still  their needs or may be too embarrassed to express them verbally, so their ongoing fighting with siblings is a way to get their needs,  personal  attention which often next  actually increase in adolescence life.
A Parent’s Checklist
As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?So the still mostly useless Albertan Prime Minister Stephen Harper and federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson MP want to get tough on the young offenders, instead of on the parents, show to us all how ignorantly they are and very poor parents now too.. They clearly themselves firstly need to be educated.Resolving the Conflicts requires still anger management too and  :Admitting, recognizing the stress issue.
Effectively dealing with the issue in a positive manner… For the matters left on their own to be resolved   tend to get worse and not betterThe instinctive, natural way it seems is merely to immediacy, feel anger, to  express our anger and to to respond  immediately aggressively as well.. not much self control obvious.. as opposed to a planed, deliberate, calculated, thought our approach.When you are angry, you probably feel:

muscle tension
accelerated heartbeat
a “knot” or “butterflies” in your stomach
changes in your breathing
trembling
goose bumps
flushed in the face

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that’s responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
Imagine yourself at a better place, the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.
Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

“Calm down.”
“I don’t need to prove myself.”
“I’m not going to let him/her get to me.”

This often Aggressive Anger is a  response to  our perceived threats; it inspires powerful, often visible  feelings and behaviors. But we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and for most of us our own common sense places valid limits on how far our anger can take us.

Stop. Consider the consequences. Think before you act. Try to find positive or neutral explanations for what that person did that provoked you.  Learn to recognize what sets you off and how anger feels to you. Learn to think through the benefits of controlling your anger and the consequences of losing control. Control your own  behavior, don’t let anger control you.

Identify the problem, problem behavior. Isolate it from the emotions associated with it and evaluate it.  How often does it happen and how long can  it go on?  What is the purpose of the behavior? If it tears down another person, it is abusive.  If you suspect abuse, it’s important to act quickly to stop it. Do not hesitate to bring it into the open, to expose it next to all for what it really is, unacceptable abuse. Get enough fact and feeling information to assess the problem accurately. Restate the problem to make sure you understand it clearly. Figure out alternative solutions to the problem.

We face a choice  to deal with their angry feelings  such as expressing our anger, suppressing our outrage, and submissiveness, calming Ourselves, controlling our outward behavior, but also controlling our internal responses, taking steps to lower our heart rate, calm yourself down, and letting  the emotional feelings subside.

Assertiveness is expressing our anger in love ,without hurting others. Being assertive here doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger turned inward may cause next  hypertension, high blood pressure,  a self pity complex, or depression.

” Unexpressed specific anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships. ”

Anger management  reducing  both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t always get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions, and express, act in a positive manner, for the good of all.

It’s best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to deal with and to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Remind yourself that merely getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse). You need to focus on the problem and deal with it effectively;

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic, Such as ” you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Normal  people tend expect : fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness, congenital agreements. The first best attitude to bring to such a problem situation, then, is not to focus on solely now finding the solution, but rather firstly on how you handle and face the problem.

Set ground rules to prevent emotional abuse, and stick to them. For example, make it clear you will not put up with name-calling, teasing, belittling, intimidating,   provoking, cheating, lying, stealing, bullying, physical abuses, intimidations and you will firmly deal with it too. Living with bad, fighting adolescent siblings is not pleasant. Clearly show all of the  adolescents the cost of fighting is higher than the falsely expected reward.

Next  tell of the trouble makers, bad adolescents that while it’s normal to have disagreements, the constant fighting upsets you  and you  value peace at home. You also can  can say they will no longer be the judge and jury over the siblings’, adolescents  disputes, wars  and you merely will not stand for it, put up with it and stand by the resolution with firm action!

Timing: use a controlled, well thought out  response to Control the event on your own time, and don’t merely be hastily suckered into facing, dealing with it unprepared. Also now do Give yourself a regular break from the conflicts, stressful situations. Make sure always too you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day, the place  that you know are particularly stressful.  One’s Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the set “trap” you seem again to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Sometimes it’s our unavoidable immediate surroundings that give us continual, ongoing, unavoidable  cause for irritation and fury. If need be do next Remove yourself permanently from the environment, for your own good health firstly . One does not have to put with with these mostly false conflicts forever.

Set clear consequences for broken rules.  What will happen if they break the rules? For example, one husband told his wife he would no longer spoil his wife, indulge in all of her false whims, desires, abuses, but next would not merely give her two  alternative choices beforehand, one would lead to a reward, one whole lead to negative personal consequences for her.  Choice one – resolve the conflicts peacefully, amiably.  Or if she continued to cause false problems, fighting he would merely fire her, terminate the relationship, divorce the marriage. He next  was forced to take the second alternative.

“I agree, that this is a horrible situation and not a marriage – get out before you are seriously hurt. I also don’t believe in an eye for an eye and certainly not hurting anyone. I never believe that violence is the answer to anything. Notwithstanding  she shouldn’t ever abuse you, verbally or physically. She is not stable at all, forget on trying next to figure out why as well, as she needs professional help.  No one needs to stay in an abusive relationship.  This woman is really terrible and with no self control . If you don’t know how to set and enforce your boundaries, please do get help here. You do deserve much better than an abusing wife with mental issues.  I also suspect that she is well aware of her actions. She is conniving and manipulating you too – and  why would you even consider crawling back to her? She is treating you this way because you  have wrongfully  enabled her to do so. .I too  not saying that it is your fault, but I am saying that there are true bad persons, about 30 percent of all persons,  now still  in the world who can sense other people’s weakness from a mile way and they try to capitalize on that vulnerability through abuse. How does she deserve you? Why in the first place do you even  think you deserve to be treated this way? Surely you know by now that she really does does not make a good wife? You really are essentially rewarding her shocking behavior by putting up with her bad acts.  You truly can’t change her behavior but you can now change yours. NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE LIKE, HOW SINCERE YOU ARE TOO, ONE  never does not deserve to have to live like this, to have to put up with living with an emotional/physical  and/or alcoholic  abuser, bad spouse, even a clear control freak too. You first do need to keep yourself safe now, next from this woman and when you  do  leave do not  go back.  You really can’t force, make your wife stop her bad acts, so you need to decide whether you want to try to unlikely  salvage the marital relationship at all. If you do, you need to tell her that you will only stay in the marriage is if she gets treatment for her abusive nature . And also only  if she never does it again. That means no abuse at all, none – the emotional as well as the physical abuse. The  sole likley serious option now is just to call it quits. There’s nothing wrong with this option. Not everyone deserves another chance. She may not, does . If your wife doesn’t accept that she has a problem and isn’t willing to accept help, you do have to get a separation and also now  put everything out in the open, even  in courts, so you can actually get your life back..  She is merely reaping what she has sowed. Leave her and let her sort herself out. It is unlikely she ever will too.  Protect yourself, look after yourself anyway. After finding myself in a similar situation, I left.  Since then, things have never been better.  I met my ex wife 6 months later, and she immediately said to me, I udenerstand that your are happier living without me,  and I replied that no thanks to her that was true. 30 years later it is still true too.”
” In today’s society it is assumed that men are the physical abusers of women and in cases of emotional and/or physical abuse of men it is seen that the man has instigated this so the woman has simply retaliated to abuse of the man and the man is still held accountable.  Unfortunately, as with so many relationship or child issues the woman is more readily believed and the man more readily blamed. I’m a woman in my 40’s and have been through the family court system over the past 10 years and I have seen a lot of what happens in these cases from both the man and the woman’s point of view. ” men and women are equal sinners.”

“I’d like to wrongfully say “beat the sh*t out of her”, but fortunately you wouldn’t get away with it. Instead, do everyone a good service,  just toss her out, she’s an abusive parasite and doesn’t deserve any husband. ““One father reported that every time a fight started, he would say to his adolescents, “You’re fighting. I’m leaving.” And then he would go out to work in the yard or take a drive or run an errand — but he simply walked away from the fighting. A mother used a similar tactic. When the fighting began, she said, “Call me when it’s over.” Then she went to her bedroom, slamming the door to emphasize her point. Another parent made his adolescents leave the house when they began fighting. “In each of these cases, the parents, adolescents  demonstrated that their ongoing fighting would not get their attention and they would not get involved in the fight.Do not hesitate to Remove yourself  from the problem behavioral  person, or remove the root cause of the problem child , adultThe angered people tend to jump to-and act on-conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.  Listen, too, to what is underlying cause of your  anger. It’s natural to get defensive when you’re criticized, but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to what’s underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger-or a partner’s-let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.Instead of doing nothing, which postpones the inevitable anyway. Seek, get sound advice, the valid  opinion of others too. Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach the conflicts, fight  it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Remember, you can’t eliminate anger-and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling effectively your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.

Negative Results of unchecked Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse : Thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse can readily tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and even as adults. For instance, one person, reflecting back on their relationship with   a brother wrote: “I believed EVERYTHING my brother told me. Even if it was lies to make himself look better.  Children and adults often still do wrongfully abuse a brother or sister  to falsely try to  gain power and control.

Hey it is just classical psychology   that If you notice the following warning signs in a person  over a period of time, the potential for increased unacceptable physical  violence by them next also exists:

a history of aggressive, abnormal, offensive behavior
serious drug or alcohol abuse
gang membership or strong desire to be accepted by the gang, to be in a gang
threatening others regularly
trouble controlling feelings like anger
withdrawal from good friends and from the normal, usual, acceptable  activities
visibly feeling rejected or alone
having been a victim of bullying, or now being a bully themselves
poor school or job performance
history of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
feeling constantly disrespected
failing to acknowledge the feelings  rights of others
or failing to acknowledge  the abuse of others
access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns

When you recognize these unacceptable future increased violence warning signs in someone else deal with it.   Hoping that someone else will deal with the situation is still false way out.

Be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show any of these warning signs and  remove the person from the situation that’s setting them off.

The most important thing to remember is don’t go it alone. Expose the matter to others as well.

Even verbal abuse left unchecked, unrestrained next tends to escalate and leads to real, unacceptable physical abuses.

11 Tips for Coping with Personal unresolved Stress

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

The prayers of Saint Francis of Assisi

1. First Concentrate on the present.   You cannot change the past, but you can work on having a better future
Don’t needlessly, continually  dwell on the past or worry about a future you cannot control. Have a positive and not a a negative, defeatist attitude now as well

2. Consider, Admit and deal with  your  past, present  problems one at a time.  First personally define, Write down those things that Bother you, do Number them, and do decide what you can and cannot do abut  them too . Prioritize as well Decide which ones are still important and which ones are no longer important to deal with.
If there are lots of items  you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. Don’t try to make too many changes all at once. Don’t merely lump your complaints,  problems together, it can make them seem overwhelming.

Remember
Anger and aggression are different. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; while aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property.
Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. We must be careful to tell the difference between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal. Convert aggression to assertiveness, actions done in love as well.

3. Take positive action.  Do review all of your options, such as writing a letter of complaint to the right party, in detail reporting the matter so you do not have to have it repeated on you.
Make sure you have realistic expectations, goals, approaches too. Once you’ve decided what you want to do about a problem, act consistently quickly ,  firmly and follow up on it too.

4. Don’t   merely complain about your problems . Continually complaining is wasteful, and seriously for a stat don’t expect only others alone to resolve them, deal with them yourself .
Talk things over with your family and good friends. Look for the positive, possible, practical  solutions.

5. Occupy yourself and your mind.  Determine what you can and cannot do, how much time you should spend on it, also do go on with your life
Social interaction, alternative activities can help during a time of stress by not continually focusing on the problem

6. Don’t just blame the other people for your problems and their failure at  Resolving them – be an active part of the solution yourself if need be
Frustrated hostility will accomplish nothing and can only make and feel worse.

7. Exercise every day.
Go for a walk and concentrate on your surroundings instead of  just on your problems.

8. Maintain a daily routine. even if you are unemployed, retired, but do not get into a continual rut as well
I have often helped many a poor, depressed person, not by any medications, but by  simply by changing their daily normal activity routine, and next by taking them for a drive into the country, or taking them to see a good film, a comedy, or Giving them some good movies to watch, or by me taking them to a fine food restaurant, or by me taking them for a long  walk through unfamiliar surroundings.. and it worked.. it actually next had broke them out of their long term depression.

Can’t change positively   the person? try first changing their surroundings, environment temporarily?
A familiar pattern of  daily activates can decrease stress and increase your sense of security. Be willing to make a change once a while as well.

9. Avoid taking your problems to bed. Try to forgive and forget.
Clear your mind of the days thoughts so you can get a good night sleep.

10. Talk to your adequate health care provider, helper. Pick and choose, for remember there are still good and bad professionals.
She/he can help you find the right agency or person(s) to assist you in coping with stress.

With God on your side you will always be a winner

St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer in praise of God
You are holy, Lord, the only God,
and Your deeds are wonderful.
You are strong.
You are great.
You are the Most High.
You are Almighty.
You, Holy Father are King of heaven and earth.
You are Three and One, Lord God, all Good.
You are Good, all Good, supreme Good,
Lord God, living and true.
You are love. You are wisdom.
You are humility. You are endurance.
You are rest. You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are all our riches, and You suffice for us.
You are beauty.
You are gentleness.
You are our protector.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage. You are our haven and our hope.
You are our faith, our great consolation.
You are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord,
God Almighty, Merciful Saviour.

Get  educated now, and know more on  how to effectively deal with abuses, Bullies and abusive persons today.
So the still mostly useless Albertan Prime Minister Stephen Harper and federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson MP want to get tough on the young offenders, instead of on the parents, show to us all how ignorantly they are and very poor parents now too.. They clearly themselves firstly need to be educated.
 
If you are being verbally, physically, sexually abused do not hesitate to bring the matter into the open, tell your colleagues, friends and neighbors about it, your church pastors, elders too, congregation members, ands even do call the police. Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons always serves everyone’s best interests. 
Topics include- Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too.
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/
Fret not!
Perhaps the best thing for preserving marriage
there still can be a good life after divorce
Abstainers
The danger of excessive…
Marriage
Focusing on the Family
Changing yourself first, positively
The too common abusive silent treatment
Messed up…
The false divorce incentives

Understanding Emotional Abuse , Emotional Abuse in the Local Church 

Is your church a safe place for victims of emotional abuse?

   
What about Bullying?
When any verbal remarks becomes hurtful, unkind to others, and too constant, it now has crossed the line of acceptance, decency and it does needs to stop, to be corrected. Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and one’s possessions. Some persons  bully by shunning others and spreading false rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or try hurt their feelings.  It’s important to take bullying seriously for effects can be serious and affect ones’ sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.
Take it seriously also if you even  hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child has  told others. Many states have bullying laws and policies.   if you have serious concerns about your child’s safety, you may need to contact legal authorities. Do not hesitate to expose it too. Verbal abuse  unstopped, unchecked unrestrained often next turns to physical abuse, wrongful violence.

(Mat 18:1 KJV)  At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
2  And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
3  And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4  Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5  And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.
6  But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
7  Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
8  Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
9  And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
10  Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
11  For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.
 

Why Do They even  Hate Each Other? In this society, too many people have the false expectation that they will love others and thus next will get along well with everyone, even in  in their family, Church, community, work. They always expect to feel positive toward their parents, brothers, sisters, spouse and children. This is unrealistic  Most people, themselves however, have at least some times when they don’t feel very loving toward   others. Some persons are even born  really bad, or have become really bad persons now too.

Relationships often can be are close, both emotionally and physically, and thus even very intense.  Because they are   closer at home, communities, church too, the related  members have a greater power than anyone else to make other members feel angry, sad, confused — and loving. This is as true for children and adolescents as it is for adults.

Why Do some persons Bully? They  bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they bully because they need a victim  to try to falsely, selfishly, sinfully   make themselves feel more important, popular, or in control. Often they do bully, torment others because that’s the way they’ve been treated in the past too. They even may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls others names.

 Forced submissions by adults, particularly in the church, or elsewhere, can often rightfully be taken as bullying, enslavement and is still unacceptable too.

Why do we hear of the Russian Mafia, and the Asian Gangs now more increasing, because their parents have neglected them while they were busy trying to get rich, richer.

(James 4:1 KJV)  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11  Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12  There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13  Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15  For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16  But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17  Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
5:1  Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2  Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3  Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.

(Prov 22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it

When Doctors cannot help you..

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Fortunately Doctors are not the final say.. when you meet the conditional aspects of being a real Christian, having faith in God, and practicing his commandments, words you can call upon God to further help you when Doctors cannot help you.. as I often have.. the demons and Humans wrongfully limit God too often as to what he can and cannot still do on earth..

Now I too was one of those normal persons who thought I would never be sick it would happen only to someone else but not to me.. but in reality I faced some very serious diseases .. and God had next helped me to overcome them.. and why? I can honestly say that the worse things that had happened to me in my own life next had turned out to be the best thing for me.. they caused me to grow spiritually and to grow closer to the Lord too, and we know that all things work for the good for those who love God..

God through Jesus Christ has promised to deliver us from all of sickness, sadness, sorrows, troubles even today, and we can stand on many such promises in his Word, the Bible. There is no pit that you fall into that is so deep that Jesus now next cannot still help you out off.

Many professing Christian persons still do have concerns such as “Teach me how to pray for healing?” or ” I Prayed for healing but nothing happened yet?”

It is firstly important to remember that the right of praying for healing in Jesus name by faith in God’s word, his written promise to us is the Children’s bread only, meaning this right belongs to all real genuine Christians, not to secular or still ungodly persons basically. Secondly if you prayed for healing, and nothing happen first give it some time, secondly pray again till you do next get the healing, even pray to find out why the healing has not happened..

Now I know very specifically that I with 2 other church elders had prayed in a specific period for 28 people to be healed, and yet next only half were undeniably healing, but God there at the same time had revealed simultaneously to all three of us the same reasons, obstacles as to why the other persons were still not healed, including their unconfessed major sins, personal inadequacies that had to be dealt with, and in some of those cases next we prayed again for the same persons and they were healed or delivered from their bondage, sicknesses.

If you are a false teacher, a false prophet, and there are much too many of them in the Christian, secular environment, do not basically expect God firstly and rightfully to hear your prayers.. even for healing. You rather need first to get right with God yourself.

Phil 4:4 KJV) Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.

More Wine does not prevent Cancers, nor does being a drunk, or smoking, doing bad drugs prolong ones health too.. Only Jesus does..

(2 Cor 1:3 KJV) Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

(2 Cor 1:4 KJV) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

(2 Cor 1:5 KJV) For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

(2 Cor 1:6 KJV) And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.

(2 Cor 1:7 KJV) And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.

Some of the distorted preachers, even Pentecostals do too often do teach that any Christian should not be sick at all and that we can always immediately claim our sickness healing by faith and God will always heal us. They seem too easily to forget that a temporary human sickness can temporary serve God’s purposes. But also yet the Fundamentals Evangelcials too now also go overboard denying that and healing tend to exist today as well. Relatedly as Jesus himself had said this is not always the case.. sickness can exist for the glory of God too. But is still always God will to deliver us from all evil, all sicknesses now too.. and how he chooses to do so is his prerogative.. .
 
Relatedly a  too common Pentecostal Word Faith teaching is that it is solely, always  your own personal fault for being sick.  This false teaching of sin being the cause of all sickness can also be found in Hinduism as well.  They teach that it is because of your own lack of faith and/or knowledge, unconfessed sins if you are sick or poor.   This unloving, cruel and unbiblical teaching does not come from God but from Satan who distorted God’s basic truths on healing. Can you imagine the gall of anyone, even a false elder, pastor, unlovingly trying to tell a person to their face that the reason their daughter sick is because of their lack of faith?  or that God is punishing them of their own sin? Can you imagine the cruelty in telling a person bound to a wheelchair that if they had enough “faith” they would  surely  “Rise and be healed?”
 
But what does the Bible really say about it, teach?

Most of the problem with the clear Christian teaching discrepancies on Healing and Sickness is due firstly to the real personal ignorance of what the Bible teaches even about Healing. Most Christian people wrongfully rely mainly on some famous preacher who is pro or con to healing and Not on God and his Word firstly. Many people have their mind made up beforehand anyway and are not honestly open to the subjects and they thus tend use out of context bible verses, the preachers quotations to try to suit, substantiate their own pet views.. they need to read these verses..

(Mat 8:7 KJV)  And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.

(Mat 10:1 KJV)  And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.

(Mat 10:8 KJV)  Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give.

(Mat 12:10 KJV)  And, behold, there was a man which had his hand withered. And they asked him, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath days? that they might accuse him.

(Mat 13:15 KJV)  For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

(Mark 3:2 KJV)  And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him.

(Mark 3:15 KJV)  And to have power to heal sicknesses, and to cast out devils:

(Luke 4:18 KJV)  The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

(Luke 7:3 KJV)  And when he heard of Jesus, he sent unto him the elders of the Jews, beseeching him that he would come and heal his servant.

(Luke 9:2 KJV)  And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick.

(Luke 10:9 KJV)  And heal the sick that are therein, and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you.

(Luke 14:3 KJV)  And Jesus answering spake unto the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath day?

(John 4:47 KJV)  When he heard that Jesus was come out of Judaea into Galilee, he went unto him, and besought him that he would come down, and heal his son: for he was at the point of death.

(Acts 4:30 KJV)  By stretching forth thine hand to heal; and that signs and wonders may be done by the name of thy holy child Jesus.

 
IF YOU BEGIN TO PRAY FOR THE SICK AS OUTLINED BELOW, YOU TOO WILL BEGIN TO SEE JESUS HEAL THE SICK THROUGH YOUR PRAYERS..
 
(1 Ki 8:28 KJV)  Yet have thou respect unto the prayer of thy servant, and to his supplication, O LORD my God, to hearken unto the cry and to the prayer, which thy servant prayeth before thee to day:
1) Focus on God, His word, his promises, Jesus, not on yourself or the others at all, do forget everything else, worship Him, God,  Jesus alone…

(Gen 20:17 KJV)  So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children.

Take the initial step.. start a ongoing relation with Jesus through your ongoing personal prayer, communication with God.

It is not God’s ability to heal others too that is the key  issue but clearly our own personal lack of unpracticed faith, our own lack of prayer.. for we are firstly too secular, too worldly minded too often to be used spiritual by God. .

(Eccl 3:11 KJV)  He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

(Mat 6:24 KJV)  No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

(1 John 2:15 KJV)  Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17  And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

(Mark 3:27 KJV)  No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.

(Rev 3:8 KJV)  I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

2) As an obedient, humble, faithful servant of God continually daily do Ask God  by faith  for the Holy Spirit’s power to be released, to see it, and do beforehand by faith thank God for it . Promise and give God all, all of the credit for the healings, miracles, works of God, do not take any, any of it for yourself, for it will be deadly for your own spirituality next if you do.. Pride still is a deadly sin.

(Psa 51:17 KJV)  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

(Isa 8:15 KJV)  And many among them shall stumble, and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken.

(Ezek 34:16 KJV)  I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment

(2 Cor 4:7 KJV)  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10  Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

1) Focus on God, His word, his promises, Jesus, not on yourself or the others at all, do forget everything else, worship Him, God,  Jesus alone…

(Gen 20:17 KJV)  So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children.

Take the initial step.. start a ongoing relation with Jesus through your ongoing personal prayer, communication with God.

It is not God’s ability to heal others too that is the key  issue but clearly our own personal lack of unpracticed faith, our own lack of prayer.. for we are firstly too secular, too worldly minded too often to be used spiritual by God. .

(Eccl 3:11 KJV)  He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

(Mat 6:24 KJV)  No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

(1 John 2:15 KJV)  Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17  And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

(Mark 3:27 KJV)  No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.

(Rev 3:8 KJV)  I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.

2) As an obedient, humble, faithful servant of God continually daily do Ask God  by faith  for the Holy Spirit’s power to be released, to see it, and do beforehand by faith thank God for it . Promise and give God all, all of the credit for the healings, miracles, works of God, do not take any, any of it for yourself, for it will be deadly for your own spirituality next if you do.. Pride still is a deadly sin.

(Psa 51:17 KJV)  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

(Isa 8:15 KJV)  And many among them shall stumble, and fall, and be broken, and be snared, and be taken.

(Ezek 34:16 KJV)  I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment

(2 Cor 4:7 KJV)  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10  Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

(2 Chr 6:19 KJV)  Have respect therefore to the prayer of thy servant, and to his supplication, O LORD my God, to hearken unto the cry and the prayer which thy servant prayeth before thee:

(Psa 102:17 KJV)  He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their prayer.

(Prov 15:8 KJV)  The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.

(Prov 15:29 KJV)  The LORD is far from the wicked: but he heareth the prayer of the righteous.

(James 5:15 KJV)  And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

THE BASIC

(James 4:3 KJV)  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

3) Rely on the direct input from the Holy Spirit, listen to him before you do even next pray, Engage the Prayer-type that the Spirit leads you to pray..

(John 5:19 KJV)  Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.

(John 15:5 KJV)  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

(2 Cor 13:8 KJV)  For we can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth.

4) Dipstick (Check personally for the full filling of the  Oil of the Holy Spirit) and Remove the personal Blocks

(1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The Confession of sins, restitution might be first required by the person being prayed for as well.

(James 5:14 KJV)  Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

5) Next do hold in your mind  the detailed faith-picture of the person healed as given to you by God , and do not waver, do continue to thank God soley for it

(James 1:6 KJV)  But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. 8  A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

6) Differentiate between a miracle and a healing.. Miracles are instantaneously while Healing my have a time element.. but all healings, miracles too  can be certified by medical doctors.

7) By faith in God hold on to the healing recognizing that false symptoms counterfeit by the devil can come next instead and cause you to doubt, even to lose your healing.

(John 5:14 KJV)  Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.

(John 5:15 KJV)  The man departed, and told the Jews that it was Jesus, which had made him whole.

(John 8:11 KJV)   And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Handling some of the objections to healings..

Just cause some preacher does not have the faith to heal, has never been used by God in healing does that now wrongfully mean the Holy spirit gift of healing has ceased? no! Of course not. So what if there any instances of believers in the Bible that asked God for a healing and were refused? Do we next make the false general statement wrongfully that God refuses all request for healing thus?  Did Jesus automatically heal all those who came to him? no? or there were conditions to be met to be healed by Jesus in the New Testament too. Now what were the conditions of healing?  And why were some refused their healings? just Unconfessed sins? Does the fact that a sickness may return nullify the first healing? No of course not.. I prayed for a person and he was healed.. years later the sickness return and I wanted to pray for them again but God said no, I will not hear your prayer, he is an unrepentant evil person. Are there any instances of believers in the Bible that remained sick or died from a sickness and does the death of any believer now  supposedly nullify any possible healing of others? of course not! ?  Is it not a fact that all  healings  are temporary anyway for we all do die?

Now let us all  look at the common quotation of Apostle Paul  supposedly applicable on Healings  “For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong,” 2 Corinthians 12:8-10.

It is agreed that the Apostle Paul had a thorn in the flesh that was particularly troublesome. Now was this thorn specifically a sickness and so what specific sickness? Partial Blindness? Why does God  in his word define it as a “thorn”, a specific abusive messenger of Satan,  and not rather a specific sickness. Paul he had asked the Lord three times to take it the thorn, not to some it only means the  supposed sickness away but God said, “no.”  So despite God’s refusal to heal him? Paul rejoiced because of his infirmities? and where is such a reference in the Bible it is a sickness still?..  there is no such reference the bad preachers imply the thorn was a sickness cause it is convenient for them to do so.

Here is the undeniable reality God rather promised  the Apostle  Paul that he would next suffer physically  for Christ sake cause he persecuted Christians.. this suffering included  the physical persecutions he received while preaching the Gospel. (Acts 9:15 KJV)  But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel:16  For I will show him how great things he must suffer for my name’s sake.  (1 Cor 4:11 KJV)  Even unto this present hour we both hunger, and thirst, and are naked, and are buffeted, and have no certain dwelling place; (1 Pet 2:20 KJV)  For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. if you have doubts what it means to be buffeted see (Mat 26:67 KJV)  Then did they spit in his face, and buffeted him; and others smote him with the palms of their hands,)

“Ye know how through infirmity of the flesh I preached the gospel unto you at the first.  And my temptation which was in my flesh ye despised not, nor rejected; but received me as an angel of God, even as Christ Jesus,” Galatians 4:13-14.

(2 Cor 4:7 KJV)  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8  We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10  Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11  For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

Now in the Old Testament King David said this about his own afflictions: “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees…I know, O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me,” Psalm 119:71, 75.  “The LORD hath chastened me sore: but he hath not given me over unto death,” Psalm 118:18.  “Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word,” Psalm 119:67.

The lying bad Preachers here too try to tell you this affliction was a sickness of David .Yet we have no mention at all in the Bible that these afflictions were any specific sickness, rather David clearly was persecuted by his son, and others.. and all as a direct result of his adulterous sin with Bathsheba  and the murder by David of her husband now as well. What the preachers too do not know the Bible well enough to share the truth? it sure seems so.

Let us all refer also to the case of Job and his sickness.. who said ” Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD…Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity?  Curse God, and die.  But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh.  What?  Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil (Calamity)?  In all this did not Job sin with his lips…Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him,” Job 1:21, 2:9-10, 13:15.

Clearly note that Job was eventually healed and lived to an old age.. this is undeniable too. (Job 42:10 KJV)  And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.

(Job 42:11 KJV)  Then came there unto him all his brethren, and all his sisters, and all they that had been of his acquaintance before, and did eat bread with him in his house: and they bemoaned him, and comforted him over all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him: every man also gave him a piece of money, and every one an earring of gold.

(Job 42:12 KJV)  So the LORD blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning: for he had fourteen thousand sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand she asses.

(Job 42:16 KJV)  After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, even four generations.17 So Job died, being old and full of days.

Some people are sick due to their own fault.. but not all persons. We need spiritual discernment on how to deal with the sick..

(1 Cor 10:21 KJV)  Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord’s table, and of the table of devils.

(1 Cor 11:29 KJV)  For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.30  For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep.31   For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.

(James 5:14 KJV)  Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15  And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

I rightfully suggest all person themselves now really go back to the Bible.. even on the subjects of healing and sickness.. I believe in going to see a doctor  after we prayed about it.. still God has promised for his children he would do   for them what the Doctors cannot do. We as Christian operate also under a higher law than the earthly laws of medicine.

(Eccl 3:11 KJV)  He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

(1 John 2:15 KJV)  Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

(Prov 23:4 KJV)  Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom.

(Prov 28:20 KJV)  A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent.

(Prov 28:22 KJV)  He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him.

(Mat 6:24 KJV)  No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

(1 Cor 16:22 KJV)  If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha.

(Mat 7:16 KJV)  Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

(Mat 7:20 KJV)  Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God. Phil. 1:11

It has been my too many years of personal experiences that the perverse Pentecostal preachers, the  prosperity prostitutes, adulterers, adulterers persons, some of them who falsely even  tithe to get richer, and not rather to help the poor persons,  are still really nits, for they do clearly now as well do really despise the poor and needy persons, and falsely covet to be richer and yes they also they can be found in both the secular and religious camps, yes their own attitudes, behaviors tend to be very similar. Even the very loudly professing Christians, the religious persons, the rather still carnal persons, the Judas followers,  while they now even do profess to be moral good living persons  but still when it comes to making more money they clearly bend their rules on morality, ethics, honesty, and they will even cheat, lie steal to acquire more wealth… they do also mainly still also do see other people as slave objects, slaves that can be used to help them increase their personal acquisition,  and they will cast out, sell out their poor  relatives, relationships still too..  but they still will even profess to be good persons even Christians  now too… and try to buy their way into heaven.

(Mat 25:34 KJV)   Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35  For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. 37  Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38  When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39  Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? 40  And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. 41  Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: 42  For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43  I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. 44  Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? 45  Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. 46  And these shall go away into everlasting punishment:

(James 2:1 KJV)  My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. 2  For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment; 3  And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool: 4  Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts? 5  Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him? 6  But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats? 7  Do not they blaspheme that worthy name by the which ye are called? 8  If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well: 9  But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors. 10  For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. 11  For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

(1 Tim 5:8 KJV)  But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

(1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

(Jer 2:20 KJV)  For of old time I have broken thy yoke, and burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the harlot.

(Jer 3:6 KJV)  The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.

(Jer 3:13 KJV)  Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD.

(Mat 23:37 KJV)  O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!

(Prov 23:5 KJV)  Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven.

(Ezek 6:13 KJV)  Then shall ye know that I am the LORD, when their slain men shall be among their idols round about their altars, upon every high hill, in all the tops of the mountains, and under every green tree, and under every thick oak, the place where they did offer sweet savour to all their idols.

(Psa 35:13 KJV)  But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

(Psa 69:13 KJV)  But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O LORD, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.

(Psa 9:9 KJV)  The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. 10  And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. 11  Sing praises to the LORD, which dwelleth in Zion: declare among the people his doings. 12  When he maketh inquisition for blood, he remembereth them: he forgetteth not the cry of the humble.

(Psa 48:1 KJV)  Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness. 2  Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. 3  God is known in her palaces for a refuge.

(Psa 62:5 KJV)  My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. 6  He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. 7  In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. 8  Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. 9  Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity. 10  Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches increase, set not your heart upon them. 11  God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God. 12  Also unto thee, O Lord, belongeth mercy: for thou renderest to every man according to his work.

(Psa 104:16 KJV) The trees of the LORD are full of sap; the cedars of Lebanon, which he hath planted; 17  Where the birds make their nests: as for the stork, the fir trees are her house. 18  The high hills are a refuge for the wild goats; and the rocks for the conies. 19  He appointed the moon for seasons: the sun knoweth his going down. 20  Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth. 21  The young lions roar after their prey, and seek their meat from God. 22  The sun ariseth, they gather themselves together, and lay them down in their dens. 23  Man goeth forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening. 24  O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches.

(Isa 25:1 KJV) O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are faithfulness and truth. 2  For thou hast made of a city an heap; of a defenced city a ruin: a palace of strangers to be no city; it shall never be built. 3  Therefore shall the strong people glorify thee, the city of the terrible nations shall fear thee. 4  For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall. 5  Thou shalt bring down the noise of strangers, as the heat in a dry place; even the heat with the shadow of a cloud: the branch of the terrible ones shall be brought low. 6  And in this mountain shall the LORD of hosts make unto all people a feast of fat things, a feast of wines on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined. 7  And he will destroy in this mountain the face of the covering cast over all people, and the veil that is spread over all nations. 8  He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it. 9  And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation. 10  For in this mountain shall the hand of the LORD rest, and Moab shall be trodden down under him, even as straw is trodden down for the dunghill. 11  And he shall spread forth his hands in the midst of them, as he that swimmeth spreadeth forth his hands to swim: and he shall bring down their pride together with the spoils of their hands. 12  And the fortress of the high fort of thy walls shall he bring down, lay low, and bring to the ground, even to the dust.

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I have had some very dramatic, real  VALID personal experiences with Healing.. they were mostly unexpected ones

It all started mostly when my 6 month daughter was diagnosed as being seriously ill, likely to die a vegetable within 3 years. I had no experiences in healings. I had also just gone to a new church, the Christian Missionary Alliance church, and I had read their church doctrines on healing. She was diagnosed with  hydrocephalus, which  is derived from two Greek words, hydro, meaning water, and cephalus, meaning head, and once was called “water on the brain.” Hydrocephalus is the condition caused by the accumulation of an abnormally large amount of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the skull, or cranium. Normally, CSF flows continually from the interior cavities in the brain (ventricles) to the thin subarachnoid space that surrounds the brain and spinal chord. 1/10000 babies are born that way.

My wife who was also a nurse was very very depressed about it.. so I suggested we separately read the Bible and ask God what to do about it

God next told us three things in our Bible reading-
1 She our daughter was not sick for our sin, or our fault
2: She will be healed God had needed her for his glory
3: I now was to ask the local church elders to pray for her healing.

(James 5:14 KJV)  Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:15  And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

When I approached the local Alliance Church pastor to have the elders to pray for my daughter he was hesitant, the local Church had really never done it before but eventually they agreed to come to our home two days later to pray for our daughter

About 6 elders came and prayed for her and next day God had told me she was healed, but physically there was no evidence of it.. her head swelling had not gone down… that was what I was expecting to happen.. I was really expecting a miracle, not a gradual healing.

I was dismayed next also that I got a phone call that two church elders who prayed for my daughter undeniably rather clearly got immediately healed, one of a neck problem and one of an arm problem too.

Next the local Shriner’s children Hospital  called and wanted us to bring our daughter for medical testing and surgery. When I prayed God had replied that the doctors had told me she was sick, and the doctors would tell me she was well. When we went to the Hospital, I told the attending nurse that my daughter was healed but she of course  did not believe me. I also had told her no operation would be needed. On the next day at 8:30 am they took her for a brain scan, and hours later it became very quiet on the floor, the nurses were whispering. and 3 doctors dressed in white came to see me and my wife  and said.. we have no explanation for it but she has healed herself, there will need no need for surgery and I can take her home the next day.

My story did not end there, for the next day at 3:30 pm ,when my wife and I got in the family car to take our daughter home, and when I went to start the car, the gas accelerator got stuck and the car started to race down the street at rapidly accelerating speed on it’s own. it was a dead end street too. And all I could do was cry Jesus help me.. and next the car stalled and stopped immediately.

God told me that the devil was mad, mad   that we had robbed him of a sick child and that he the devil was going to punish another child next, and that I was to pray for the child and the father. So I did right there I prayed for the unknown to me Child’s protection and healing.

We next took our daughter home and the doctors told us that she would have headaches for a few days cause of the medical testing, and you could see her in pain, her eyes were rolling.. but I said if God could heal her of brain problems he can deal with a headache and I prayed for my daughter immediately at home  and clearly her headaches stopped.

The next day we got a phone call that the visiting Church football evangelist daughter was born that day at the same Shriner’s hospital with the same sickness my daughter had, she had hydrocephalus and spinal Biff.  The very next day I divinely met the same  football player on the street on the way to work unexpectedly and we both went for coffee. I told him that God had told me that he God would hear my prayer and his daughter too would be healed.. even though he may not believe me.. and she eventually was too.

It was not all personally rosy for me after my own daughter’s healing for too many  local Christian people got mad, jealous, bitter over the miraculous healing.. some even lied and said the devil healed her, and sadly eventually I had to leave this local church because of the too many unpleasantness. but a doctor in the same church was converted, he had recognized personally what sickness my daughter had being a doctor, and he next said only God could heal her and he accepted Jesus as his savior. And while God still heals the devil also still tries to rob it, to destroy it, to discredit it.. and he will even uses some professing Christians to do so.. sad isn’t it.

(Psa 34:18 KJV)  The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

(Psa 51:17 KJV)  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

(Isa 57:15 KJV)  For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

(Isa 66:2 KJV)  For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

(Isa 40:31 KJV)  But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

(Luke 18:1 KJV)  And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;

(Heb 13:5 KJV)  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.6  So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

(Eccl 7:20 KJV)  For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.
When you have absolutely nothing, and you have lost it all, everything you had, your friends, money, job, family,  health and you in desperation do now again maybe cry out to God how does he respond next? maybe you won’t know the answer until you walk in these shoes yourself??
 
Now I have been there now a few times and God next responds the same way.. “I will never leave you or forsake you, I will always be there holding your hand”..
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(2 Cor 1:3 KJV)  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
 
(Eph 1:17 KJV)  That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:
 
(Heb 13:8 KJV)  Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
 
(2 John 1:3 KJV)  Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.
 
and why does God now he God respond  in  this manner of reminding you firstly of his presence ?
 
 God for his servants reminds us of his continual presence and nothing takes God by surprise, nothing can prevail against God ,
 
(John 21:24 KJV)  This is the disciple which testified of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true.
 
(Rom 8:28 KJV)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
 
(1 John 5:19 KJV)  And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness.
 
(1 John 5:20 KJV)  And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, even in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life.
 
We need to refocus on God always..
 
(Exo 33:14 KJV)  And he said, My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest.
 
(Jer 5:22 KJV)  Fear ye not me? saith the LORD: will ye not tremble at my presence, which have placed the sand for the bound of the sea by a perpetual decree, that it cannot pass it: and though the waves thereof toss themselves, yet can they not prevail; though they roar, yet can they not pass over it?
 
(Jer 23:39 KJV)  Therefore, behold, I, even I, will utterly forget you, and I will forsake you, and the city that I gave you and your fathers, and cast you out of my presence:
 
(Ezek 38:20 KJV)  So that the fishes of the sea, and the fowls of the heaven, and the beasts of the field, and all creeping things that creep upon the earth, and all the men that are upon the face of the earth, shall shake at my presence, and the mountains shall be thrown down, and the steep places shall fall, and every wall shall fall to the ground.
 
(Phil 2:12 KJV)  Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.
 
Face Life with a positive attitude
 
(Phil 3:1 KJV)  Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe.
 
(Phil 4:4 KJV)  Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
 
(Gal 3:5 KJV)  He therefore that ministereth to you the Spirit, and worketh miracles among you, doeth he it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?
 
(Acts 20:21 KJV)  Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:.. But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. – 1Peter 4:12, 13

Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf… Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator. – 1 Peter 4:16,19

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. –Revelation 21:4

The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. – Psalms 34:17,18

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand. – Psalms 37:24

Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth. Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. – Psalms 71:20,21

This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. – Psalms 119:50

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me. – Psalms 138:7

For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall. – Isaiah 25:4

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. – Isaiah 41:10

When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them. – Isaiah 41:17

For the Lord will not cast off for ever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. – Lamentations 3:31-33

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: – Philippians 1:6

And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. – Psalms 9:10

In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me. – Psalms 86:7

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. – Psalms 147:3

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What initially ALSO appeared as the most tragic demonic events in my own life  next, they had  turned  out to be the most blessed event, even prolonging my life.

Imagine that I  as an adult in Calgary Alberta was firstly fired from my job because I had refused to cheat, lie, steal on behalf of my firm. Next my sadly unfaithful wife filed for divorce, and she even stole my personal belongings and my 3 children too, even our house next went into foreclosure and was taken over by the bank, so what can happen worse than that?

Well next the pastor of the local church tried to kick me out of the local church cause I could not longer give to him, and he for sure falsely was not willing to give in return.. What next?

Well for 2 years the lying, pretending local  bad doctors, hospital  could find anything wrong with me too.. even though I knew for sure there was something wrong with me..
 
So I next moved back to my home town, Montreal to another province, Quebec.
 
Shortly the doctors there confirmed the fact that I need quintuplet heart by pass surgery, and they also next installed a pacer, and a  defliberator as well.. thus  prolonging my life much longer than had I strayed in Calgary Alberta.

You see I was working and living in Calgary Alberta in 1982 and for 2 years I had gone to various doctors, I had undergone various medical tests and the doctors said they could find nothing wrong with me specifically, rather it appears they must have known the truth but refused to do anything, for the Alberta government has a policy that they give medical services priority mainly to people born in Alberta. Had my wife not filed for divorce for sure I would have had been dead next there, and when she filed for divorce, we lost our home as the lawyers had seized it  for their future payments, so next I had no choice but to eventually go back to Montreal to firstly get medical help cause I was in continually stomach  pains. By the blood pressure alone the doctor should have know how seriously I was sick, 165/145.. my wife being a nurse she knew right away.. God even told me I was seriously ill.. and he had refused to allow me to work hard.

When I got to Montréal and visited the McGill Hospital, the doctors here said I was ok originally, amused me and put me into a bed for 4 weeks and conducted no medical tests at all.. next finally they decided to discharge me, but someone had to sign off on me and they decided to do one test, the echo gram, the technician doing the test next she start to cry, and I asked her why she was crying, she replied that I was too young to have such a serious heart problem, 1/3 of my heart was dead. The next day the doctor said the McGill Hospital  came and told me that there was nothing they could do for me, I would have to go home and get ready to die. But right then at the same time I heard Jesus say “do not worry Paul, it will all turn  out all right”.. so next day the 2 doctors came back and and said they will give me a heart surgery tomorrow, a quintuplet heart by pass. After the heart surgery I was totally normal for 2 weeks but then it seemed to have been inadequate.. the surgery was only partially successful. I was able to walk but I had difficulties in any serious exercise, physical activity.  God told me next he took my wife away cause it was her bad cooking that was killing me, something the dieticians confirmed next too.  He God had now freed me to work on the internet, I have been on the internet actually since computers had first started in the 80’s  both as a political lobbyist on behalf of all Canadians,    as a Christian pastor promoting God’s truth.

I had now also wanted to return to Alberta, because I loved the weather and scenery there, so  as I prayed as to why I could not go back there. God told me I he had provided everything I needed in the city of LaSalle Montreal where I was I was even for my medical care. I shortly had a vision. It was a view of Montreal from above, but on the south side of the Montréal, across the river instead was a huge European looking city. I was told I could not cross the south  river, and I saw from the air above the Montreal General Hospital and I was told I would have to go there next. That week my main doctor called and said I would have to go to the hospital to have a defliberator installed for I have a tendency to die in my sleep. So they implanted the medical device and next it significantly improved my breathing.

I was now also basically limited to biking, since walking any long distance was too difficult for me but eventually next even Biking that  was too hard for me, I could not make it up the hill. So in desperation I prayed and told God that. Just after I had prayed the phone rang and a fellow said he had acquired an electric bike he would like to sell me.  I bought it, and it really solved my biking need. I loved it. I could travel at 30 mph and do about 60 miles before I recharge it, bout 2 a week.

Meanwhile I continue on the net daily for hours, generally my mornings at least, writing my messages, replying to letters. I have been happy, fulfilled  with God the last 15 years too. I have been very visibly active on the net as a Christian, even daily writing Bible devotionals to many pastors, college students too. Gladly  here doing the work of the Lord. Although I liked being a pastor of a home church better in Calgary, I loved the daily home , hospital and political visitations too. So as you see there are no complaints here. God let me serve him  more next  instead of having me die. God had said to me also he had let me live cause I had served him..

Is 61:1 THE SPIRIT of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed {and} qualified me to preach the Gospel {of} good tidings to the meek, the poor, {and} afflicted; He has sent me to bind up {and} heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison {and} of the eyes to those who are bound,  Is 61:2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, Is 61:3 To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion–to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, {and} failing spirit–that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Is 61:4 And they shall rebuild the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations and renew the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Is 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Is 61:11 For as [surely as] the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring forth, so [surely] the Lord God will cause rightness {and} justice and praise to spring forth before all the nations [through the self-fulfilling power of His word].

Is 62:11 Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth: Say to the Daughter of Zion, Behold, your salvation comes [in the person of the Lord]; behold, His reward is with Him, and His work {and} recompense before Him. Is 62:12 And they shall call them the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you shall be called Sought Out, a City Not Forsaken.

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God through Jesus Christ has promised to deliver us from all of sickness, sadness, sorrows, troubles even today, and we can stand on many such  promises in his Word, the Bible. There is no pit that you fall into that is so deep that Jesus now next cannot still help you out off.

(2 Sam 22:31 KJV) As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.
 
(Job 13:15 KJV) Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.
 
(Psa 2:12 KJV) Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.
 
(Psa 4:5 KJV) Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD.
 
(Psa 5:11 KJV) But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.
 
(Psa 9:10 KJV) And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.
 
(Psa 17:7 KJV) Show thy marvellous lovingkindness, O thou that savest by thy right hand them which put their trust in thee from those that rise up against them.
 
(Psa 18:30 KJV) As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
 
(Psa 20:7 KJV) Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.
 
(Psa 25:20 KJV) O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.
 
(Psa 31:6 KJV) I have hated them that regard lying vanities: but I trust in the LORD.
 
(Psa 31:19 KJV) Oh how great is thy goodness, which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee; which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men!
 
(Psa 34:22 KJV) The LORD redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.
 
(Psa 37:3 KJV) Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
 
(Psa 37:40 KJV) And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.
 
(Psa 40:3 KJV) And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
 
(Psa 44:6 KJV) For I will not trust in my bow, neither shall my sword save me.
 
(Psa 49:6 KJV) They that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches;
 
(Psa 52:8 KJV) But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God: I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever.
 
(Psa 55:23 KJV) But thou, O God, shalt bring them down into the pit of destruction: bloody and deceitful men shall not live out half their days; but I will trust in thee.
 
(Psa 56:3 KJV) What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
 
(Psa 61:4 KJV) I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.
 
(Psa 62:8 KJV) Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.
 
(Psa 64:10 KJV) The righteous shall be glad in the LORD, and shall trust in him; and all the upright in heart shall glory.
 
(Psa 73:28 KJV) But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.
 
(Psa 118:8 KJV) It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
 
(Psa 118:9 KJV) It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.
 
(Psa 146:3 KJV) Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
 
(Prov 29:25 KJV) The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
 
(Prov 30:5 KJV) Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
 
(Isa 42:17 KJV) They shall be turned back, they shall be greatly ashamed, that trust in graven images, that say to the molten images, Ye are our gods.
 
(Isa 50:10 KJV) Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.
 
(2 Cor 1:9 KJV) But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:
 
(1 Tim 6:17 KJV) Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
 
(Heb 2:13 KJV) And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me.
“One thing is pretty certain in that no matter who you are, where you are, or what your religious affiliation is you will encounter some very hard things. We may not always understand why things happen but there are some things we can count on:1). Christ will be there in the storms for those that have placed their trust in Him. Several episodes from Jesus life point to this fact and none stand out more then when the disciples and Jesus were in a boat on the Sea of Galilee and a storm over takes them. Jesus was there and He did not “poof” at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes Jesus will calm the storm in our life but other times He will not. But He will always be there.

2). Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. Bad things happen. The causation of the tragedy may differ but the result is the same. Whether by a poor decision on your part, a poor decision by somebody else part really matters not. Just as with death and taxes, tragedy is almost guaranteed for us all.

3). Bad things happen to good people, in my own honest opinion, sometimes to show that God’s faithfulness and a person’s faithfulness to God. How a christian responds to a tragedy speaks more about what they believe than when there are times of joy and prosperity. The world watches how a christian responds to adversity to see if God really does make a difference.

4). One thing we tend to forget is that God’s initial intention was never for things to be the way they are. His initial purpose was for there to be a intimate fellowship between Him and His creation. However the everything was corrupted with the fall of Adam and Eve into sin. The corruption not only affected the relationship between God and man but also affect our world. Death, suffering, sickness, and despair are all a result of the fall of man into sin.

I too have gone through some things I never thought I would have to face. Did I question? Yes. Did I wish it never happened? Of course. Did I doubt? To be perfectly honest I did. But you know God is bigger than my doubts and questions. His shoulders are big enough to carry me when I do not understand . God used a particular painful part of my life to teach me more about Him. As I was enduring this painful time three questions always seemed to arise. 1). What did I believe about God? 2). Why did I believe it? and 3) Do I trust His promises?

As Joseph found out firsthand many times too, Our dreams seem to die, but God has a way of keeping them alive.. (Gen 37:5 KJV)  And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more. (Gen 37:28 KJV)  Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.

Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.  (1 Cor 13:4 KJV)  Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,  5   Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

(1 Cor 13:2 KJV)  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Contrary to the devil’s and lawyers lies, only the lawyer’s and the courts are those persons who tend to get richer, profit generally from a divorce. On top of that Divorce persons tend to have a shorter life span, and more health problems as well compared to the others.

A spouse also tends not to file for divorce unless certain conditions are met..
– The think they can get richer by a divorce.. but 2 can live cheaper than one..
– They have a substitute mate in mind, whom they should have consulted first, cause often they have no intention ever of marrying them too..
– The have the false support of their family, mother generally, brother and sister. Even often a false pastor, a false church now too.
– They have adequate cash at hand to pay for the initially lawyer’s fees. you would be surprised how many spouses still keep a hidden bank account from the other spouse, eventually the other spouse finds out and this causes really deep bitterness, anger, resentment, even unforgiveness too.
There’s no doubt there are abusive spouses, male and females.. but often one spouses provokes the other one into an abusive response knowingly  beforehand as well..
Still there are no real spousal winners in broken home, a broken marriage generally now still too.
Both men and women often still are no angels.
Can a true professing Christian now file for divorce? and why do so many Christians still do get divorced? http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/
For the last 5 years the above post has been one of my most popular on the net too

 Do see also

http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-false-divorce-incentives/

 (Jer 17:5 KJV)  Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD. 6   For he shall be like the heath in the desert, and shall not see when good cometh; but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land and not inhabited. 7  Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.8   For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

Unacceptable Medical Care

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1 : “Our healthcare system is fraught with non managed  personnel waste
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I have many times for a decade and more have written that “Our healthcare system is fraught with non managed  personnel waste,”  That is because Doctors, Nurses, medical professionals, staff in Hospitals are still  not managed adequately, left unsupervsied by the too often rather bad, pretentious governments, health ministers now as well. . I can often see proof of this merely by visiting a local Hospital..
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The other day at 2. pm in the afternoon I was visiting, the Pointe Claire Hospital, in Quebec, the  medical records office.. I there next could not help but notice plenty of internal offices, plenty of additional  tables and chairs but still I saw only one person there present , a janitor who was empting the waste paper baskets. When she saw me standing there she went to the first  office to talk to someone and next a young lady entered in. At the same time four other persons came behind me also to the records office. Because it all was taking a long  time now in dealing with the citizens, next one by one young ladies, about 9 of them next left that same internal  office and excused themselves to the receptionist  from the office and they  left the records office.. the internal office gathering of young ladies was obviously party, a gathering going on in that office. Now I have often seen the same thing occur in provincial, federal, municipal a offices now too.. why is that? Have you not also notice how often the cafeteria, coffee shops are mostly filled with staff during the day as well and much more.
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2:  For over 30 years, we’ve known of striking differences in the amount of care patients receive and resulting costs depending on where they live. Often, health care is still not based on the best, adequate  clinical, medical  evidence, medical tests but superficial ones and so it does not lead to the most cost-effective outcome. Many of the tests are pretentious, false charge card excuses. Why is that still acceptable? It is not. Out of sight means out of mind is too often the doctors and nurses approach. http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/06/09/the-workers-who-complain-that-many-errors-are-caused-by-the-work-overload/
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3: We also may have the most expensive system in the world per capita, but we lag behind many developed countries on virtually every health statistic you can name. We’re doing a better job than most on reducing smoking rates, but our obesity epidemic is out of control, our death rate from prostate cancer is only slightly lower  and  our  heart attack patients did no better than the Swedish patients, even though the we  got twice as many high-tech treatments
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4:  The vast majority of medical problems in this country are still due to obesity, poor eating habits, unresolved negative stress,  lack of exercise, smoking and drug abuse, including alcohol. Until we address these, we’re just putting  only more expensive bandaids. Most experts seem to agree the health care inefficiency results from a healthcare industry that’s focused more on cure than prevention. It strives to treat heart and artery disease, doing little to discourage smoking, encourage healthful diets, exercise and blood pressure maintenance. Hypertension is out of control, is under appreciated by the public as a health problem and is under managed in the current medical system.  Of course this is true. Good health maintenance saves extraordinary amounts of money and reduces demand on limited healthcare resources. Just as reducing demand on oil lowers the price of oil, reducing demand for health care services would reduce the cost of health care. The whole idea should not be    to treat  cancer, diabtes and heart attacks, sickness  in the first place but help to  prevent it.
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5: In reality  there now are still to many patients every day who are still seeing 5 specialists, are even on up to 12 daily medications and are next doing poorly because no one is directing their own adequate medical  care education, plan, and a dietician too. The emphasis on specialty care has become so great that too few medical students are pursuing careers in primary care to meet our needs. There already is a shortage of money allotted and a shortage of  primary care physicians medical personnel  in many communities and it next  will only get worse over time. Adequate Doctors are only a very small part of the solutions.
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6: Clearly eliminate the health care fringes that the politicians, celebrities too often do get. They should stand in the same lines that we are going to be in. If they are treated as special, the rest of us will continue to suffer.
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7: I too now do believe by cutting bureaucratic waste at every level, stopping provincial and insurance company greed and their bait and switch game, eliminating ineffective treatments and standardizing effective ones and instituting early preventative care for all, we can create a system we can all live with.
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8: Drug producers are far more cancerous in their impact on the costly dysfunctions of the rapidly failing Medical Care system now in place. High cost for one often means high profit for another. Whose pockets are getting overly filled from those high prices? Many good doctors  will probably end up in pharmaceutical sales where the big money is. You need to reign in the overwhelming greed driving medical costs, fees. Stop letting them charge what they want. Make them accept fair payments
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9: Positive Health care Change are required and the persons who fear change are doomed to join the ever increasing bankruptcy lines.
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Why did the visits to the emergency  clinic visit double  in the last year? Or why does pay  for for a 10 minute visit with a local doctor who too often doesn’t know anything about you and couldn’t care less?
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Reality, more cops = fewer robbers. Medicare &  billing fraud are a huge drain on the precious resources. A relatively small investment in auditors/investigators would be a valuable Return On the Investments AND increase public/political faith in the system.
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There still also appears to be no competitive connection between how much the government spends on patients, even  in different parts of the country and the actual quality of the care the patients receive. It turns out that servcie quality is all over the map, and it isn’t necessarily better in the places we might expect, such as academic medical centers or the main, large cities. A ongoing review of the actual medical care and related costs , actual effectives is always required.
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Medical administrative costs are not only necessary but often really beneficial. For one example -Tracking the rate of heart attacks from drugs such as Avandia, or cough syrups for instance, are key to ensuring safe, better pharmaceuticals.
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There still appears to be no connection between how much money spend on patients, or Medicine in different parts of the country and the quality  , the actual costs of the products  the patients receive next. Pharmacies, pharmaceutical firms are guilty too often still of price fixings even. You are no more likely to pay more for a beta blocker or aspirin in a big city over a small town , even though the purchased volumes are much greater. 
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The Government almost always over pays for it’s often poor services still. Free health care is a basic human right. And so is the management of it, as well as Prosecution of the wasteful, fraudulent, guilty persons;
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What we have in medical care are a bunch of parts that have been thrown together with no initial thought to the greater whole. It’s a a real unacceptable mess, to be sure.
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All this is basically Why do  I still give a grade of “failure” to our too often lousy medical care system?
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Dealing effectively with the bad Person, Stressful person- Alcoholics, Bullies, Abusers, Control freaks

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Now can a Person change themselves?  Is there hope for anyone?
 
Some people say that recognition of the problems, obstacles is basically 90 percent of the solution, and I really do also wish that next was true.. for example
 
 Drug users, alcoholics, cheaters, abusers, adulterers, Bullies, thugs, Control freaks do   affect negatively continually too the lives of at least six others at least..
 
How to deal with them effectively! Even if they refuse the help..
 
Establish Boundaries, Set Limits, Set detachment.  One example of setting a boundary is telling a close friend, a loved one  that you prefer they not be around you if they are smoking,  drunk or high. Notice that it is specific demand, and you have to sit down and communicate this type of request explicitly with that someone. Setting a boundary like this is difficult because there is this tendency to hurt other’s feelings. But that is part of what is keeping you ineffective– your caring more about this person’s feelings than your own personal well being. Setting boundaries is about putting your own personal well being and even that of others first, and letting that be a guiding example of how to live. You know you are setting effective boundaries when you are taking back control of your own life firstly and starting to regain your own sanity–instead of being all wrapped up in the problems of a struggling smoker, rebel, drug addict or alcoholic.

“Here are some things that you can do in order to practice detachment with the struggling pervert in your life:
-Don’t do things that they should be doing themselves.
-Don’t bend over backwards to rescue them or save them from natural consequences.
-Don’t cover up for their mistakes or embarrassing situations.
-Don’t rescue them from crisis or financial situations.
-Don’t try to fix them.
-Let go of any guilt you may have about them.
  
Detachment is not about denying your emotions. If someone close to you dies, for example, you will probably feel sad. You can’t choose this feeling. It simply is. But we do have the power to affect the intensity of this feeling, by focusing on the positive aspects of the situation. We can also change our thinking in an attempt to eradicate irrational beliefs that might be contributing to our emotional turmoil.

The goal is not to go without emotions, the goal is to achieve some level of emotional stability. We are detaching from the negative, irrational thoughts that stir up our emotions–like the guilt we might have if we think someone’s perversity, addiction is our fault.
Detachment is difficult and takes practice.”
 
 How to help a teenager that does not listen or how to make a bad person change to a good person.. are some of the very common search questions for this topic now too.. the critical word being change.. you can set clear boundaries, detachments, and  give wise verbal instruction to a wise person, or some kind of a reward incentive, but still he may or may not next listen to it and follow it.. a foolish person  certainly will not listen to good advice for a start, may need to hopefully learn the hard way with a rod of life’s correction LIKE THE PRODIGAL SON NEXT DID .. for  you cannot hope to change anyone still by yourself without God’s help, input in reality.

The fastest way for anyone to change is by prayers, them also praying, even by the prayers of others, reading the Bible as well.. valid support groups also still can either be pretentious, fake, wolves in sheep clothing,   or helpful?  Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,    Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.  

Humble Prayer is the starting method in getting God’s help.
 
(Jer 14:7 KJV)  O LORD, though our iniquities testify against us, do thou it for thy name’s sake: for our backslidings are many; we have sinned against thee.
 
(Jer 2:19 KJV)  Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts.
 
(Jer 3:22 KJV)  Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the LORD our God.
 
(Jer 5:6 KJV)  Wherefore a lion out of the forest shall slay them, and a wolf of the evenings shall spoil them, a leopard shall watch over their cities: every one that goeth out thence shall be torn in pieces: because their transgressions are many, and their backslidings are increased.
 
It also now seems that unresolved problems tend to make us seek God. How to draw closer to God. You have wanted God to speak to you for a long time. You have wanted to talk to God and get answers back. This  is an opportunity for you to have a dialogue with God. God too wants to communicate with you. You might have been in church, a crusade, in your room, or outside under the stars. You felt God’s call, but you didn’t know exactly what God wanted you to do. You knew you were going to do something special, but you didn’t know what it was. Now you can also find out God’s plan for you, and others too and the literature is all free too.   It teaches you how to hear God’s voice.  God will teach you many things you need to know.  Valid spiritual tools to help you make conscious contact with God: Praise, Prayer, Humbleness, Obedience, the Bible. Get yourself ready where God speaks to you  Do see http://pbulow.tripod.com/wait.html    and http://pbulow.tripod.com/voice.html    
 

More about Control freaks- Is being a control freak an major illness too? Is there really a cure for it..

If you are a   Control freak you are not only still unrealistic, immature, immoral person  but you  may have a serious personality disorder.  Even if you work for Bell,  Sympatico or Stephen Harper, etc,
 
You are a menace, plus a real danger to yourself and to others, for you are an abuser, a human rights violator too.
   
Having clearly now an exaggerated emphasis of your own self importance, being tottally in  control is part of a cluster of behaviors that can be labeled as compulsive and generally characterized by perfectionism, orderliness, workaholic tendencies, an inability to make commitments or to trust others and a real cover-up for your fear of having your own flaws exposed. You are exposed now still too.. 
 
All  these type of Persons who  believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives, or of others, including their relationships are idiots, fools, grossly in error, in need of professional help, good pastoral counseling.
 
I rightfully  believe in the right of free speech, mine, yours, everyone else’s and not solely yours.
 
Most all of you have had to contend with control freaks and they are found everywhere, in Corporations, at  home, in churches too.. These are those people who insist on having their way in all interactions with you. They wish to set the agenda and decide what it is you will do and when you will do it. You know who they are – they have a driving need to run the show and call the shots. Lurking within the fabric of the conversation is the clear threat that if you do not accede to their needs and demands, they will be unhappy.. and they will delete your post…
 
While in reality God has made us all equal, and GAVE US ALL MOUTHS WE CAN SPEAK WITH, EARS TO LISTEN, it seems some people, in churches, on the net, elsewhere, they  still wrongfully do think they are better than others, or want to dominate others, do try to give orders to others, do try to make rules for others  that they too often themselves do not follow too, they are in fact still bullies..  and now why is that? and who do they think they are now that they are so special? Mere fools. They mostly have a hidden agenda, they are falsely seeking fame, power, control, a position of prestige, for they are immoral slave drivers trying to walk on the back of others…
   
I really do love now all my wordpress blogs for they not only do  they allow me to exercise my own right of free speech, and allow my right to be heard by others too now  
  
I have already mentioned it to you rightfully and often too  before that I often get letters from some persons telling me what I can and cannot write on their sites, rather them wanting to write all of my posts too it seems. Many disturbed persons are now disturbed by the contents of my posts, so these  ostriches try to find a false excuse not to deal with it, and try to instead falsely delete it. The control freaks  emotional stakes includes their own identity and sense of well-being. Being in control gives them the temporary illusion and sense of calmness, a false feeling of superiority. and what fools they are when in reality they are so far from it now too.   
     
Control freaks or Bullies, abusers, wrongfully do cause  others stress so they can maintain a false sense of order. These people themselves firstly are are still riddled mostly with anxiety, fear, insecurity, and anger. They’re very critical of themselves their lover and their friends, but underneath all that still too that supposedly perfect outfit and great body is a mountain of real unhappiness, unresolved guilt, disturbed person.
 
Certainly, it’s natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, well you have gone crazy, become a fool, a demonic controlled person who can’t rest until you get your way and you are headed down a very bumpy ride, it is easier to try to control yourself, and impossible to control all the others.  
 
(1 Cor 9:27 KJV)  But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway. 
 
Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
 
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over
 
Is 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, {and} mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon. 8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Is 56:10 watchmen are blind, they are all without knowledge; they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; dreaming, lying down, they love to slumber.
 
The need to control is almost always fueled by anxiety – though control freaks seldom recognize their fears. At work, they may worry about failure. In relationships, they may worry about not having their needs met. To keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they try to control the people or things around them. They have a hard time with negotiation and compromise and they can’t stand imperfection. Needless to say, they are difficult to live with, work with and/or socialize with.  
 
Is 57:4 Against whom do you make sport {and} take your delight? Against whom do you open wide your mouth and put out your tongue? Are you not yourselves the children of transgression, the offspring of deceit–
 
   “Those who demand the most often give the least.”  Ask them to send you something or do something for you. By asking something of them, you will be indicating that you are not intimidated or diminished by their behavior patterns. In order to not feel degraded, humiliated and have your sense of self and self worth assaulted, you need to avoid being bulldozed by a controlling lover, boss or friend. When you are caught up in a truly destructive/controlling attachment, the best response may still also still be to expose them. call the police and walk out.

 IT IS NOW MORE  RARE BUT I DO ALSO NOW STILL GET BULLIED BY RELIGIOUS BULLIES, ABUSERS TOO..  not just by the past bad cops
 
The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant  bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons  who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” ..  clearly these immoral  Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others has a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth,  most likely related to past unresolved guilt, as a result  of  that   the bully, he or she, tries falsely to   build  their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against  his proclaimed enemies, which too often also  is most people , for  he or she no longer trust anyone, and Abusers this is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt,  and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others.  I have seen this type of wrong behavior not just in bad managers, bad politicians, bad persons, but  in alcoholics, and most often in Albertan rednecks ,but also  in religious   fundamentals evangelicals who promote hated towards Pentecostal Christians as well, and  now as well as the crooked pastor wrongfully  fighting for control over others. Public exposure and prosecution of these bad persons here too services everyone’s best interest.
 
Now we all seem to meet all type  of persons in real life, the control freaks, verbal and human right abusers, Bullies, enslavers, liars, cheaters, imposters, pretenders, con artists too.  And we often simply do wonder why they do not change..
 
Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.  
  
Beware though — still today most bad persons resist changing, and do  employ false denial techniques of their wrongs, deny wrongfully their own need to change and next even build even more walls between them and others. You can see this bad approach used by  alcoholics now as well most of the time..
 
Being nice. kind, friendly  to a really bad person  is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see   no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true. We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the  sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser..
 
In fact it is next impossible for anyone to try to to change others. I have seen many marriage fail cause the wife was naïve to believe she could change her husband instead of accepting him for who, what he was at the time of marriage. After all it is easier to change oneself than others too but wrongfully most people try to change others and not themselves. If it was supposedly easy to change anyone then we would not need prisons for the too often now habitually criminals in reality.
 
In reality also now whether you are talking now about a parent, a relative,  a spouse, criminals, alcoholics, drug addicts to what ever no one basically can be helped firstly who refused to admit they need help, and next also refuses thus next any help to change now as well.
 
And in truth the only people I have ever seen who manifested any  lasting, real changes were these people changed by God, who had next became born again, and to be fully truthful here too next half of them even got worse again next, a dog who returned to their vomit, they denied next the DENIED THE SAME FAITH THEY BELIEVED IN TOO.
 
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous rightfully says that only God can next heal, relieve the sin, the illness of addiction. It requires the addictive person to first confess they have sinned and next ask for God’s forgiveness, help.
 
Too many a persons also do falsely deny who they really are, hiding behind prestigious or pretentious facade that they are unknown, cannot be discerned, read, known cause they are too complex.. you can fool some of the people some of the time, most of the people most of the time but not all of the people all of the time..
 
Jesus himself said a person can be known simply by what they do. good people do good things.. and bad people tend to do bad things.
 
(Mat 7:18 KJV)  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
 
(Mat 7:19 KJV)  Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
 
(Mat 7:20 KJV)  Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
 
(Mat 7:21 KJV)  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
 
(Mat 7:22 KJV)  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
 
(Mat 7:23 KJV)  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
 
(Mat 7:24 KJV)  Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
 
(Mat 7:25 KJV)  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
 
(Mat 7:26 KJV)  And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
 
(Mat 7:27 KJV)  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.  
 
Helping others to change for the good is even more difficult today as well             
 
Reality- Today many Children are also being falsely led to  believe that Gambling, Alcohol and Bad drug use is generally  safe. The average 18 year old has seen 100,000 television commercials encouraging him or her to drink. That’s why 80% of high school seniors have tried alcohol, 32% have gotten drunk in the last thirty days, 43% smoke marijuana, and about one third are smoking cigarettes. Most addicts die of their addiction and they take their family members down with them. The first step in any help program recovery is to get honest with yourself. Get honest even as to what the other person is really like.. Do not let them take you down the drain with them next too.. Control what you watch, read, hear and what your children watch, put the computer also in the family room where you can supervise it, see what they are doing with it.

We all also must take any personal addiction seriously especially amongst teens, and the adults now too,  because 25% of North Americans die as a result of substance abuse. The average alcoholic dies twenty-six years earlier than he or she would otherwise.

 

How to get better medical services

How to get better medical services It generally does not come automatically, you seem to have to work for it and to be persistent in it as well.. Merely doing nothing here will tend to make your medical  matters even worse.
 
Here also is what I have learned the hard way the last 15 years, and that is when you get seriously sick
 
1: The sole place it generally appears that you will get the needed  adequate medical  help is in the emergency, the triage care at the Hospitals, that is if you can get by the big obstacle of the non medical doctors, the triage screening nurses firstly.
 
2: Secondly while you can get mostly good medical care there too, solely now also  if in the process you do not die due to the shit disease, you know the Hospital budget cuts realty that cause, allow  poor hospital hygiene and spreading of infections diseases  as a result. Sad reality.
 
3: Thirdly while the doctors, and the competent staff at the emergency department, triage will generally do their best to treat you, and also try to discharge you ASAP too, they generally are also next very reluctant to provide you still with any further follow-up medical treatment, or follow up medical care at the hospital, or at the emergency service department, for here they rather do expect you to get that needed medical service from your family doctor, who often is still is not fully competent to do this for the very serious diseases. In case you did not know many family doctors are even now
still learning, getting on the job medical training, expereince. Wow! A medical degree does not mean that  now they know it all, and/or can really help you with everything.
 
4: Which leads me to my 4th  essential point, the rather resulting high patient mortality rather after the surgery and why now too…
 
4a: While clearly the medical advances against even the more serious sickness have taken gigantic leaps now these days, I sadly too often these  days have to tell the truth to the sick persons that next the patients even themselves are now more often to blame for their sudden deaths,  their illness degenerating mostly too even by reaping what they sowed, by their own neglect of basic laws reaping to human anatomy too, their own failure to insure  healthy eating, failure to get  proper sleep, and failure to handle, resolve unbeneficial stress adequately. Majority of patients still lie to themselves when they do now falsely think they will not reap what they have personally sowed and thus they are committing personal suicide as a result. Lack of sleep is still a killer.. so is not eating properly.. so is one’s unresolved stress…
 
4.b: The too often useless, pretentious follow up doctors…
 
Now I also bluntly  do recommend 2 things to a lot of sick patients..
 
4.b.1- Do not go to see a doctor alone, take a loud mouthed witness, for the threat of the lawsuit seems to inspire more medical personal to work better than anything else. Many seniors told me they get better care when their son or daughter goes to the doctor with them.
 
4.b.2 – Inform your doctor honestly that you have done a follow up report to the health minister as to the type of medical service you actually got at the Hospital, clinic, his office.. I have tried this often it works great too. It improved my follow-up care and this generally increases the doctor performance,  in reality.
 
Now if anyone does not care for this sound, good, profitable advice, then do please,  please do tell them to stop complaining next  time to you and/or to any others as to why they are still getting poor medical care, follow-up services from their doctor.
 
do see also
 
 

Stressed out by the control freaks? Slave drivers?

Our personal life, well being , health can even be negatively affect by the acts of others, even control freaks if we continue to let them.. Recognizing the problem here too can be 90 percent of the solution.. 

Control freaks themselves now do often have a terrible personal, social  life too and  they wrongfully do often make all life terrible for those they live with, marry, work with, come in contact with.
 
Now Graphics, arts and photography have been hobbies of mine for decades, so it should not come as a surprise to my friends, neighbors, others to see me taking digital pictures, including scenery, trees, flowers..  http://picasaweb.google.com/thenonconformer  
 
but I am often amazed how many times I have seen housewives  objectionably running out of their  front door with a phone in their hand ready to call police because they saw that I was on the sidewalk taking a picture of their tree, shrub, flower in their yard.. these are also the evidently control freaks.. these people who manifest Psychological Disorders or Abnormal Behavior, showing  a personal behavior that is either deviant, maladaptive, or personally distressful. Meaning they likely need real, valid professional help. Includes now also their having  an  “abnormal thought processes”.
 
 It is like the line from Simon and Garfunkels’ song, The Boxer: where ” a man hears what he wants to hear . And disregards the rest.” and the sick ladies had openly screamed to me, you are crazy, no person in his right mind now takes pictures of flowers, you have an alternative agenda.. clearly this showing now yes they have lost it..  sadly lost touch with reality.
  
Control freaks are very likely the often very close to you people who are too often personally afraid and are desperately now trying to manipulate others and their environments to minimize their own fears, all now mostly done  likely still out of reality, motivated by often their  false fears now too.  They are the often Fear-driven persons who question and complain to all others unless every task is done by others as they want it too be done, practical or not, to the full satisfaction of their own selfish needs, desires which much always come first. Do they feel guilty living such a clearly selfish, self centered life.. now, not openly and explains why they tend to behave so crazy like too. Covering up for them, falsely denying who they are  is also still  an act of the other crazy people now too.
 
These control freaks their sad present development it  now have too often been a long time in the making now, for they did not arrive  to this disturbed state of mind likely even over night. Their clear need to control others is almost always still mostly  fueled by their ongoing selfishness, self centeredness, anxiety, personal fears, and  imaginary ones mostly too, Such as the suspicious persons questioning my motives for taking pictures of flowers. I now have learned to take time to smell the roses and to enjoy them. They sadly now  have not.. 
 
but the control freaks wrongfully seldom recognize any of their negative behaviors, acts so  never mind next openly even now admitting their own motivation fears. Which leads to the question can there be next hope for them.. unlikely…
  
Unresolved Fear, anxiety can  lead  next to some people with ‘liveable’ responses but with others it leads them to a deeply disabled, disturbed responses, a long lasting, permanently disturbed mind and life. Excessive anxiety and fear are factors in some common personal emotional and physical illnesses causing extreme self-focus and apprehension. 
  
Their own  lives, views, expressions, words  are also characterized by them too often falsely listening to other’s  lies, gossip, slanders,  exaggerations,  distortions of reality too. Clearly they are some of the  People who have lost the fundamental grasp of truths and reality it seems. Sick, sick persons  who have   turned inward, defending themselves from their anxiety and usually hiding  from real life in general.So instead of embracing all activities as a challenge where unexpected, difficult  things are anticipated with pleasure and the person is open to new experience, rather now many activities are solely come to be seen as a potential threat and are looked at with suspicion and fearful anticipation; and a happy life for them falsely begins to close down.
 
Disregard simply their demands always and do not give into them, for it will wrongfully reinforce that they were right about their too often still unfounded fears rather too.. 
 
And  most people try hard to avoid the Control freaks, by desperately trying to have nothing to do with them in case these supposedly crazies next go berserk and do something stupid, violent, embarrassing next.. for this fear motivation that  the control freaks   they tend to have is not at all healthy or normal.Do readily now Tell them to get help, and the sooner the better,  to deal with their much too many fears due often to their personal  unresolved guilt,  and/or fears of negative resulting possible consequences, or the fear of dying, getting hurt, being fired, mugged, becoming poor,  or whatever..
 
Non physically handicapped person suffering  from considerable feelings of guilt, from considerable feelings of inadequacy is   now so obvious a reality in real life  for them too. 
 
The control minded Sickness, Illness can likely rightfully often be associated with the persons own past actual   bad acts, unresolved moral guilt in their own contemporary minds and their subsequent behavior now seen as  related punishment for their own past, unconfessed, unrepented of moral wrongdoings that can,  does come forth  and so such association of cause and effect can really still exists for them as well(1 Th 4:7 KJV)  For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.(1 Th 5:9 KJV)  For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,(2 Tim 1:7 KJV)  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.See also http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/ 
 
You may also seriously want to look more into why some people personally  tend to have a large, a false amount of guilt, phobias, unresolved genuine fears too.
 
Have you ever felt guilty? Of course you have, usually because you were indeed guilty. But not always!
 
Phobia. [Gr. phobos, fear.] any persistent, irrational, and excessive fear of some particular thing or situation. (Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, 1983 Many People who have struggled with phobias understand how immune such phobias where even the irrational fears continue to plague the victim.
 
Many “People with low self-esteem experience a high degree of insecurity and jeopardy. They do not feel safe most of the time. One defense is to become a perfectionist. After all if you do something perfectly, you are beyond criticism and no one can hurt you. Perfectionism is an attempt to create perfect safety (which is, needless to say, unattainable). The other safety attempt is to become a control freak and try to control everything. If we can control everything, nothing will ever jump up and surprise or hurt us. 
 
 People with low self-esteem tend to live in a closed system that is hard to break. Because they have difficulty admitting negatives, either about themselves or their behavior, it is hard to reach them. It is especially difficult for someone with low self-esteem who is defensive or in denial to admit that they are afraid. As a result, it is difficult, occasionally impossible, to reassure them that it is okay to be afraid or to be in pain. Their major fear is that it is all their fault. That’s a lie. It is not all their fault, but it’s a lie that’s hard to surrender.”   http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/03crse_symptoms.html
 
People who are doing wrong, doing their own thing without God rightfully still do need to feel guilty about they wrongs they are doing too. Believe it or not if you continually cheat, lie, steal, commit adultery, tell lies, do bad things, etc you will subconsciously even feel bad about yourself and have a very low self esteem too and often falsely try  to compensate the void by the false counterfeits still of power, control, more lusts, money etc., to no permanent avail too
 
But what about those times when you have feelings of guilt even when you didn’t do anything wrong?
 
Some people say that “Usually a person driven by false guilt is afraid of freedom because in every act of freedom is the possibility of offending someone. Offending someone is unacceptable. Other people are seen as pipelines of approval. If they’re offended, the pipeline shuts down.” Maybe you feel guilty cause you have been lazy and did not much good too? so you feel this void in your own life?see also http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/agoraphobia.asp
 
and there is also the genuine and also the false religious fears now too..”Relatively little attention is given by many of us  to religious fears, however. It is apparent that manipulative minds can readily distort the scriptures in order to produce feelings of fear, guilt, remorse and even hysteria. The followers of Jim Jones and Ayatollah Khomeini can attest to that. What is surprising is that often the victims are aware of their paranoia and know it to be destructive, but feel powerless to overcome it. ” http://www.freeminds.org/psych/phobias.htm Now if something you are doing makes you feel really bad, first do find out why and maybe stop doing it too. Or maybe not! Don’t take the false blame for another persons fault, sickness, sin.
For being nice. kind, friendly to a really bad person is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true.

We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser OR THESE pretentious persons..I really often do try to learn from the many diverse experiences I encounter in life, to be able to deal with them more effectively and to be able to help, share more simply with any others even the solutions as well as to what I have experienced  and what I have learned now as well..   http://redreadingroom.blogspot.com/2008/01/intro.html  

Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons seems to be most effective way that works for everyone’s benefit in dealing with the bad acts of others still.

 

I do not have to accept any of the negative consequences, or bad acts of other persons  and their sins too. That includes their verbal abuse, physical abuse, slander, lies, emotional abuses, their false silent treatment too now. etc.. I can even tell them that now too. 
 
I still am often amazed how many control freaks I do encounter, and yes often they can also be found in schools, homes, work, church,  governments, elsewhere too.. these are people who often claim they are giving you some helpful hints, tips, advice but are trying to manipulate you to do something they rather want.   
 
Now I have clearly mentioned that Control freaks tend to be rightfully  guilt ridden sinners, and so they next  try to cover up it with both false denials and a false perfection approach  too… for too many people too often do people try to compensate for an imbalance in one area by an extreme in another area of their own personal life… such as seeking for the perfect mate, perfect job, perfect marriage and they will never, never find it, for this world is really imperfect and you should know that by now too.. AND IN LOVE YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT, TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT STILL ALWAYS TOO.
 
(Job 28:28 KJV)  And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.(2 Chr 19:7 KJV)  Wherefore now let the fear of the LORD be upon you; take heed and do it: for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts
(1 Ki 8:46 KJV)  If they sin against thee, (for there is no man that sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them to the enemy, so that they carry them away captives unto the land of the enemy, far or near;
 
(Eccl 7:20 KJV)  For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.
 
(John 15:5 KJV)  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
 
(John 15:6 KJV)  If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
 
(John 15:7 KJV)  If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
 
(John 15:8 KJV)  Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
 
(John 15:9 KJV)  As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
 
(John 15:10 KJV)  If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
 
(John 15:11 KJV)  These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
 
(John 15:12 KJV)  This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
 
(John 15:13 KJV)  Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
 
(John 15:14 KJV)  Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
 
(John 15:15 KJV)  Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
 
(John 15:16 KJV)  Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
 
(John 15:17 KJV)  These things I command you, that ye love one another.
 
(1 John 3:6 KJV)  Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
 
(1 John 5:18 KJV)  We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.
 
 
NOW IF YOU THINK YOUR SPOUSE IS NON PERFECT, OR THEY ARE A NON CHRISTIAN, ..always do firstly still pray for them daily, pray blessings for them and not rather curses too, ..  AND NOT FALSELY FILE  FOR DIVORCE.. it is as a simple as that too. Only in heaven when we are married to Jesus will we have the perfect marriage, the perfect father, the perfect brother.
 
(Prov 3:7 KJV)  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
 
(Prov 3:8 KJV)  It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
 
(Prov 3:9 KJV)  Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
 
(Prov 3:10 KJV)  So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
 
(Deu 18:13 KJV)  Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.
 
(2 Sam 22:31 KJV)  As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.
 
(2 Sam 22:33 KJV)  God is my strength and power: And he maketh my way perfect.
 
(1 Ki 8:61 KJV)  Let your heart therefore be perfect with the LORD our God, to walk in his statutes, and to keep his commandments, as at this day.
 
(1 Ki 11:4 KJV)  For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
 
(2 Ki 20:3 KJV)  I beseech thee, O LORD, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.
 
(1 Chr 29:9 KJV)  Then the people rejoiced, for that they offered willingly, because with perfect heart they offered willingly to the LORD: and David the king also rejoiced with great joy.
 
(2 Chr 16:9 KJV)  For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars.
 
(2 Chr 19:9 KJV)  And he charged them, saying, Thus shall ye do in the fear of the LORD, faithfully, and with a perfect heart.
 
(2 Chr 25:2 KJV)  And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, but not with a perfect heart.
 
(Job 1:1 KJV)  There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
 
(Job 1:8 KJV)  And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?
 
(Job 8:20 KJV)  Behold, God will not cast away a perfect man, neither will he help the evil doers:
 
(Psa 18:30 KJV)  As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
 
(Psa 18:32 KJV)  It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
 
(Psa 19:7 KJV)  The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
 
(Psa 37:37 KJV)  Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.
 
(Prov 2:21 KJV)  For the upright shall dwell in the land, and the perfect shall remain in it.
 
(Prov 4:18 KJV)  But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.
 
(Prov 11:5 KJV)  The righteousness of the perfect shall direct his way: but the wicked shall fall by his own wickedness.
 
(Isa 26:3 KJV)  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
 
(Mat 5:48 KJV)  Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
 
(Mat 19:21 KJV)  Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
 
(John 17:23 KJV)  I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
 
(Rom 12:2 KJV)  And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
 
(1 Cor 13:10 KJV)  But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
 
(2 Cor 12:9 KJV)  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
 
(Gal 3:3 KJV)  Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?
 
(Eph 4:13 KJV)  Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
 
(2 Tim 3:17 KJV)  That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
 
(Heb 13:21 KJV)  Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
 
(James 1:17 KJV)  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
 
(James 1:25 KJV)  But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
 
(Rev 3:2 KJV)  Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found thy works perfect before God.
 
Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
 
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.
 
Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.

now that all should be adequate food for thought..

 

(Psa 19:9 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

(Psa 34:11 KJV)  Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

(Psa 111:10 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.

(Prov 1:7 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

(Prov 1:29 KJV)  For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:

(Prov 8:13 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

(Prov 9:10 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.

(Prov 10:27 KJV)  The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened.

(Prov 14:27 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.

(Prov 15:16 KJV)  Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.

(Prov 15:33 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

(Prov 19:23 KJV)  The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.

(Prov 23:17 KJV)  Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.

(Isa 33:6 KJV)  And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the LORD is his treasure.

(Acts 9:31 KJV)  Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.  

I believe in all things work for the best for those who love God, but I rebuke all evil persons rightfully still.. I do not accept rightfully their abuse of others.

  

 Here is my reality.. Control freaks are demonic persons, led by the devil, who try to bring us into bondage, and they tend to  get a lot more crazy, get a lot worse..